crafting

Took August to JoAnn Fabrics with me the other day to get fabric for a quilt for my new baby niece. While I was there I saw this super cute woodland print marked down to $3 a yard. So I had to get it. Not that August needs any more blankets! But it's pretty much the only thing I can sew that usually works out well. My pants and outfits always turn out terrible. So he's got a new blanket.

I love those little woodland critters.

It was nice to have an hour to sew today, sitting crafting, listening to my Pandora on Indie, the sounds of my old favorites The Postal Service, Modest Mouse, Coldplay, Pinback, I feel like I'm 20 years old again. I still love all these songs and still know all the words to sing along.

Feeling a little low today with a slight fever, stuffy nose, and tired from staying up watching the Bachelor. Oh the heartache! The Bachelor picked a girl only to a couple weeks later break up with her and try to go get back with the other one. And yes, better a broken engagement than a broken marriage, but ouch, he was so careless with her heart. I know this is tv, but these are people's real lives and emotions! It was sad.

This little dude is walking all over the house and getting into everything. Things are starting to go missing. I found my alarm clock under Doug's nightstand table, and the baby monitor in the diaper bag... We have these earmuffs in his sock bin, he pulled them out and brought them to me, then wore them around the house for a good 15 minutes.

I love that little smile.

He got these little slippers as a new baby hospital gift and they finally fit. Not that he keeps them on at all, but they are cute for the few minutes until he pulls them off :)

A look back at my 2016 goals

How I did on my 2016 goals:

- finish out my BSF Bible study strong. I wanted to join this study but I never want to do the homework and most of the time don't want to actually go to the study! Altho I am always happy when I'm there. I finished the Revelations study and am now in the BSF study of the gospel of John. I still feel the same, sometimes not wanting to go, but I do think it's definitely good for me.

- read the entire OT straight through. Fail. I only made it through Numbers.

- re-do the front landscape in our yard. Done!

I finished this project last May. We'll see how it held up over the fall/winter. I'm sure I'll need to re-mulch. I'm hoping to have better luck and further growth in the spring, especially with my boxwoods, hydrangeas, and peonies. Doug is really wanting us to move next year, so goodbye all my hard work! It really takes years to develop a garden.

- passport stamp!! Doug and I are in the early trip planning stages. Yes! We went on a 12 day trip to the Netherlands, Germany and Austria, resulting in 2 passport stamps :)

- do a devotional guide several evenings a week with Doug either over dinner or before bed. Boo, another fail. We really need to do this. Although, starting Tuesday Doug and I will be taking an Apologetics course together through the Detroit Bible Institute, so that will be good.

- finish a couple books that I am only halfway through: Emotional Spirituality, Made to Crave, and some marriage ones I have on the nightstand. Geez, maybe next year I should look at these goals more often so I don't forget about them all! I did read some in each of these books, but I don't think I finished any of them.

- find a church to attend and get involved in together, preferably in the first half of the year. Ok, we are at least closer in this decision. We have been attending a church we both like and are getting a lot out of the messages so far, it's not perfect, but it seems pretty good.

- And probably like many others, I would like to lose about 5lbs. I feel healthier and have more energy at that lower weight. Oddly enough, I think I met this goal. First gained 25lbs while pregnant, but lost 30, so guess I did that. I still want to stay consistent with exercising and eating healthier more whole foods and plant based meals in 2017.

Overall 2016 was a great year, of course with the biggest blessing being the much hoped for pregnancy and birth of our son August. We also dreamed and planned together for our future, traveled, had dinner and game nights with friends and family, Doug earned his 4th Associate's Degree, and I am 4 classes away from my BSN. I am excited for all that 2017 holds!

tough day

Today was pretty emotionally exhausting. Doug and I were late to church, we had a bonfire with friends the night before and were just tired. But off we went. The sermon was really good, it was about when Rachel died and her dying wish was to name her son 'sorrow', but Jacob refused and named him Benjamin which meant 'blessing'. Then they played this tear jerker video of a 33 year of man/husband/father who died of colon cancer, all the while proclaiming that God was good even if he lived or died.

It was good. And it reminded me of the many times I claimed that promise in my own life that no matter what happened to me, and my failing marriage, that God was good and He could be trusted, and He was still on His throne.

I had never prayed harder in my life, asking God to save my marriage. But it didn't get saved. And God is still God, and He is still good.

Then there was just terrible news that a friend we love, and had celebrated in her cancer healing, had more cancer. And I just cry every time I think about it. And feel so helpless. But knowing that all I can do is in my prayers give her precious life over to the God who made her.

So yeah. A very teary day.

Then Doug and I had a fight in the car, stupid stuff. And in the end it ended up being a good talk about how the ways we were raised shapes us to think that certain things are "better" when really what's "better" is what is best for us. Our marriage. Our family. It ended up a good talk, but it's hard thinking through all that sometimes.

Later we were laying down and I just started crying again. Sometimes I just hate being alive in this messed up world. We're fighting about stupid stuff like cars and vacations and our friends are sick, and marriages are in trouble, and children are being sold into sex slavery, and people all over the world are being killed. It just seems like anything we do is too small. I feel like even if I went and lived somewhere, it wouldn't be enough, there would always be more sorrows.

Doug reminded me that it does make a difference to that one person's life you did help.

Doug suggested that for the next 40 days we pray about what God has for us, and where we can best serve Him. And then appropriately tonight we went to hear a speaker share on missional/intentional living, where you just become friends with people and share your faith as it comes up. Sounds so easy. But it's hard. I will definitely be praying about this, I feel like already I don't have enough time for established friendships, and to make more time for 'the lost' seems like there would be even less. Although I think one way he does it is to invite everyone. Not a super comfortable idea according to my small groups preference, but a way to see old friends and share authentic living with the new. A way for God to move in those conversations and interactions. Worth praying about.

My mom shared this quote about prayer and I love it

"Christians pray in order that they may arouse themselves to seek Him, that they may exercise their faith in meditating on His promises, that they may relieve their anxieties by pouring them into His bosom; in a word that they may declare that from Him alone they hope and expect, both for themselves and for others, all good things." John Calvin

I think that's so beautiful and so true.

God is still good. I hope and expect good things.

nursing

Today at work I almost had this scene from Monty Python:

Luckily I didn't say it, but I was sure this old guy was an old lady.

I cannot figure out what is going on with my patients, and why so few of them have teeth. Everyday I say to myself, stay in there teeth!!!

I passed another class, ob/gyn part a. One more section to go and then Christmas break! Woo, I am excited. I'm super excited to meet this beautiful baby girl!!! (shout out to Sarah the most amazing photographer I know!)

In school-baby news I'm finding myself not that crazy about ob/gyn. I'm kinda surprised because I always loved those TLC baby story shows, but this isn't that great. There is sooo much charting and boring make-sure-the-hospital-doesn't-get-sued that is just such a shame as I feel the time could be much more valuable with actual patient care, and labor coaching and teaching. This one birth I saw the first labor of it and mom was on bed writhing in pain, dad and daughter (who knows why she was there anyway) were watching cartoons, totally ignoring mom. And nurse looked at the monitors and left. I think I would like it if I were the midwife and I was at some home-birth, but I'm not crazy about this hospital way. Plus the smell of blood... shudder. But I guess it's good I'm seeing what I like and don't like, as otherwise I've liked everything and haven't felt much direction for a future specific area.

Made a few foods this week:

Thai Sweet Potato Veggie Burgers .... lots of chopping, and just ok :/ not nearly as good as her other veggie burgers that I love

Jill's recipe of chili, topped with store-brand 'fritos' (not as good, but good-enough and saved $1, haha)

Also this week I made my box for Operation Christmas Child!

My favorite thing this year is the glow-in-the-dark build-it dinosaur skeleton :) ... and I like the harmonica. I hope some 5-9 year old boy somewhere out there has a good Christmas this year!

And tonight after a long day at work, and evening at clinical I came home and found this:

Jill met with her mentor tonight, who brought over candy bags, and one for me too! Awwww, so thoughtful. I may or may not be typing this with a chocolate mustache right now :)

I'm an AUNT!!!

October 21, 2013 at 6:18 am MT, little miss Molina Grace came into the world tipping the scales at 6 lbs, 12 ozs and 19 inches long.

THOSE CHEEKS!!!

I don't even remember now, I had talked to Michelle on Friday night or something. Asked marathon questions, talked a bit about her upcoming labor. She was feeling fine, ready to do it. I emailed her the stuff I had just learned in class of tips to know when labor is on its way.

Sunday at some point I got a call from mom that they were going into the hospital!

Then heard nothing all day.....

In the evening called mom and she said things were moving slowly and they told her to get up and move around, so I guess she did. And I think she eventually got a little bit of Pitocin to help move things along quicker since her water had already broken.

The next morning I wake up, run to my phone, nothing! Call mom, she hadn't heard anything either! So off I go to class and when I checked my phone on break I had a new baby niece!!! Michelle's sister had texted Elizabeth and I to let us know all the details. Later my classmate was like 'who's that baby you keep looking at on your phone?' My new niece!

It's kinda fun going thru OB/GYN now in school at the same time as a new baby is coming. Already I know how to assess baby and calculate how many calories they need, and what percent is too much weight to lose. Not that any of this new found wisdom can help of course since this new baby is 1200+ miles away! :(

But I'm very excited to celebrate this blessing in my brother's life, he and Michelle will make such great parents. And I'm also very excited to go visit them over Christmas!

awww... baby girl's so tired!

yawn!

Molina and Mommy:

(I think that photo is so beautiful)

Molina and Daddy:

haha, she looks like she's squinting... is that you Dad? ...I can't see too good....

Go team!

Joel and Michelle combined their names ( ala 'Brangelina') to be Jochelle to refer to themselves, but what will they be now? Mo-jochelle? Jochellet? Jochellina?

Thank you God for this beautiful blessing of a new life, please be with Joel and Michelle as they love and care for this little girl and encourage her to someday put her heart in Your hands!

Weekend Update

This weekend was so fun. Went out for dinner and drinks with co-workers on friday and stayed all night talking and laughing on a resteraunt patio watching the sunset. So nice.

Saturday morning went for a run. I ran last Saturday a little more than I usually do, and I don't know, but I did not exercise after that for an entire week! It was really unlike me. So this Saturday I got back on track.

Afterwards Jill and I walked down to the farmer's market, she got these beauties

I wish flowers lasted forever!

Saturday night we went scouting for a place to celebrate her birthday. We talked and laughed and danced and I tried to get my new favorite drink 'the Junebug'. I was drinking what the bartender gave me and kept telling Jill how it didn't taste at all right, was way too strong, and just not at all good. And then slowly realized I was drinking her red bull/vodka and my drink wasn't even made yet, haha, whoops!

(beautiful diamondy shoes from Elizabeth's wedding not shown)

Today after church I went up and spent the day with my parents. We ate lunch, and went on a walk at this nature preserve place. It was a beautiful day. Mom and I picked stuff from the garden

Mmmm... it already seems too long since I last made my favorite butternut squash/black bean burritos. I seriously love these things.

And no trip home is complete without 'man jobs' for my dad.

1- fill my barre ball with air, 2- help touch up the getting rusty mark on my car, 3- add a hole to my shoe straps so they stay on better

As usual, he conquered them with ease.

Tomorrow I have orientation at school and I just remembered I didn't finish reading and there is going to be a math test, so off I go!

life lately

I went to my counseling yesterday, filled in Stan about my date and this busy month. He was really proud of me going on a date, he reminded me that 3 months ago I said I couldn't imagine ever dating, and now I've been out there and actually had a good time. We talked about how I do feel afraid of being 'sucked in' to something that might not be good just because someone might seem so fun and funny- but not necessarily good in the right ways. I'm sure I would figure it out eventually, but it is always so hard to break up with people - and I would rather do it earlier than later. Sometimes I wonder how I look from Stan's chair. He said he was proud of me, and that I did really good with what I said to that guy, and that I'm not operating out of 'neediness'. I do feel like I'm growing and learning, and moving on. And I'm ready. It's been a year and 7 months now, dealing with everything, and will be officially 1 year divorced this month.

I still hate that I am divorced. But I love what God has done in my life because of it.

I've been getting these daily divorce emails from the divorce group I was a part of and today was 365 days. Time flies. God has been so good to me, and I share the email girl's voice, "My Father loves me, and He’s reaffirmed it in a thousand ways. I know that I’m going to live. I’m not just going to get by, but I’m going to live victoriously." And again, I'm so thankful.

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.Zephaniah 3:17

ARISE! Shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you! Isaiah 60:1

I am so thankful for my amazing family and friends and support group too. I've been busy since coming home from Guatemala, my room is a complete disaster. But I've been too busy having fun! I went away on a girl's sleepover trip Monday night, spent the next day with them and at the outlet mall.

It was great to see out of town friends, we had so many laughs and time to catch up. Then I got a call from a friend who had an extra ticket to F.U.N. so I zipped over there, parked across the street and ran in since I didn't have any parking money, and sat on the lawn listening to music. It was perfect! Tonight I'm hanging out with my co-worker, and then Thursday a dinner hang out with those out of town friends again. This weekend I can relax, and then next week my sister is coming into town for the wedding!!

It's busy, but it is wonderful to have such good people in my life. I told Stan last night I feel 99% back to my original self, and I feel loved, and happy, and blessed, and thankful. Thank you Lord.

cheesemaker?

Yesterday as I was looking at pinterest for the first time in several months, I stumbled upon this post and remembered how at one time I wanted to be a cheesemaker.

I love cheese and the thought of me in a barn with these big wheels of cheese that I made sounded very country and whimsical.

I tried to go on a 'cheese tour' once, but it wasn't the actual making of the cheese as I had hoped - it was pretty much just a cheese store. Lol.

Now after reading that post, and seeing how it's made, I'm not sure I want to try it. Whole milk, rennet (which is from the stomach of killed calves), I do eat store cheese and it's all made from that - I just don't like thinking about it.

I'm not sure if I'm going to be a cheesemaker anymore.

Cooking fail

I went to make some of my favorite tostadas the other day. It was already like 7 or so and I was really hungry. I'd used up a bunch of leftovers from the bare fridge and when I went to put it in the oven, I must have bobbled it:

I don't even know how it happened, but they fell, cheese side down of course onto the hot oven door and even into the crack.

I was so mad! I did laugh and get my camera, but I was mad.

Confession: except for the one that fell mostly in the crack, I scraped them off the oven lid and cooked and ate it anyway. That actually grosses me out a little, who knows when that oven lid was cleaned, but I had seriously just used everything eatable left in the fridge to make them, I was hungry, and my plain stubbornness made me do it.

Of course first I had to turn off the oven so I could clean off all the melted cheese, salsa, and smeared refried beans. It didn't help that that day was the the first of the really hot days, and I was soaking wet sweaty and nasty as I scrubbed a 350 degree oven in already 85 degree heat. That probably didn't help my irritability.

I'm starting to get worried about the summer. After not sleeping much this winter because of loud pipe noises, it's looking like I'm not going to get much sleep in the summer either because of the heat. It gets really hot and stuffy in my room. My old apt was hot too, it's not just here, but we had a nice big window and some nights 3 fans going. And on the really bad nights we'd drag the air mattress into the living room where the AC unit was. I've thought about putting a little cot in the basement here, but it is a shared basement and the thought of people coming down kinda creeps me out. So hopefully the fan(s) situation will work, we'll see I guess!

Carpe Diem

Call the WNBA scout – I signed up for a basketball class! This was a big step for me, and I momentarily regretted it minutes later when I saw the sports page of the newspaper with arms in faces and people falling- but too late. I’m doing this.

As previously mentioned, I didn’t do many sports while I was a kid. I remember in 5th grade there was a girl who had broken her nose during some sport and now had a big bump nose. I remember asking my dad if I broke my nose would he get me a nose job, and he said ‘no’, and I said to myself ‘ok, I’m never going to play sports’, and I didn’t. That might sound vain, but when you’re a fifth grader with pre-contacts coke bottle glasses and a pre-braces snaggletooth, you protect the one thing you have going for you.

Anyway, I’m excited.

Last year for me was pretty much just surviving being divorced. I would say to myself, come on Anne get out of bed, you can do it, ok, now go eat something, good job… and thankfully God brought me through it. This year is more back on track and doing things that I want to do again. I can’t believe I have one year of nursing school almost done, woohoo!, only one year and 8 weeks to go! God has been so good to me and I am thankful.

Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. Psalm 28:6-7

life lately

So when I moved out of my apt last August I knew I was going to be moving in with a friend. I knew that I was going to be going down to PT at work, and school full-time, so I couldn't afford to live by myself. I didn't know how long it would be- but I was guessing at least 2 years with school and 'recovering'. I knew I was moving a whole apt of stuff into one already furnished, tiny bedroom. So I packed up almost all of my stuff. But lately I have been looking for some things and I get so irritated that it's packed away. And stupid stuff, I clearly remember Emo Anne packing it away thinking I wasn't going to want it for 2 years. The other day I was looking for these pink socks to wear under my boots and when I couldn't find them I remembered I packed them away thinking 'they have hearts on them, I'm not going to want to look at any hearts for 2 years'. And then for Easter I was looking for my fake tanner to remedy my pasty white leg situation in my Easter dress and I couldn't find it. Did I really think "wa-wah, no one will be looking at my legs for 2 years..." Kinda funny now, but I can definitely see how I was feeling by how I packed. Oh well. Fake tanner is cheap.

This last week I've been watching Becks since Jill has been on vaca. It's been nice to have this little guy's company.

he's a worthy staring contest competitor

Normally he sleeps with Jill, but since she's gone he has to come in with me otherwise he'll bark all night. I'm not a huge fan of sleeping with dogs, so he'll start out on the floor on a blanket, but every night he makes a little noise and up he comes. When I got out of the shower I came in to see this

awww! so cozy!

He was a good little buddy this weekend.

Last night I made my favorite delicious veggie burgers before I got down to my studying

So good!

One of the best things about Becks is that if I'm studying and he's annoyingly barking in the window he gets to come sit in my lap. It's a win-win. He's quiet and he keeps my hands busy.

Otherwise I will sit there and absentmindedly pull at my eyebrows and eyelashes. I don't really notice it, but the last time I was at my parent's house studying, I hear my mom "stop that!" and she even smacked my hand like a little kid. Well I have news for you mom, I can't help it, it's a disease called trichotillomania- "there are millions of us!" But probably a good idea to try and not do, I don't want to have bald patches!

Coins and Goals

2013 is already off to a much better start. I'm settled back into the condo with my friend Jill and Becks and today was my first day back at school.

While unpacking and settling in I looked again at all my Christmas loot, I know it's not about getting stuff, but wow, I got some good stuff. After much complaining about Jill's food processor on this blog, my brother & sister-in-law got me a new one! Can't wait to test it out! My parents got me some resources for growing in my faith, I got some stuff for nursing school, and a lot more goodies. One thing my mom got me that I like is for my coin collecting.

They started the America coins in 2010 and after 3 years here's all I had:

But after mom's Christmas present

All full!

I'll want that same present another 3 years from now :)

Well I didn't really make any resolutions this year. My boss asked me about it and I just said I wanted to make it through another year, and he "boo'd" me. That was really my goal for 2012, and God brought me through. I do feel more on my feet nowadays so maybe I will make some goals:

* do not fail nursing school (a lot of people fail the semester I'm in now :/)

* run a 1/2 marathon (never wanted to run a whole, but a half might be fun if I can find a buddy to do it with)

* if I don't fail out of nursing school, keep praying about the opportunity to do a medical missions trip this summer to Guatemala with my aunt

* read a book about investing

* become group exercise certified

* make some awesome food to be my specialty that people will always request

* finish my kiteboarding lessons

That ought to keep me busy! I am looking a lot more forward to 2013 than 2012 that's for sure.

Madonna

Last night Jill and I and some co-workers went to see Madonna in concert. My boss represents a company that does the security for her and other big name concert people so he hooked us up with some tickets. I would really LOVE to see someone like Pinback, Modest Mouse, or Broken Bells, but he doesn't represent anyone like that. So Madonna it was. I do really like some of her old stuff- Holiday (favorite), Vogue, What it Feels Like for a Girl, Like a Prayer. Jill was super excited and has asked me for months about the status of our tickets!

The cause for such frequent asking is that we weren't actually issued paper tickets months ago, we had to go to the "Madonna Friends and Family" line at the will-call and we got our tickets and wristbands for 'the golden triangle' area in front of the stage.

Paul Oakenfeld was her opening act, so Jill and I went down to that triangle area and danced and took pictures in front of the big Madonna stage curtain. It was pretty crazy people-watching. There were some quite extravagant people to say the least.

So then Madonna comes out and right away we knew it was going to be questionable. A huge cross comes down and it was like a scene from a church and these winged dancers were crawling around and it just seemed almost evil. Followed by songs 'bang bang you're dead- shot my lover in the head' with screens of giant blood spatters. She gave a speech about how much she loved Obama and most people cheered, but there were a few boos I was pleased to hear. It's just crazy anyway, the election is over and she doesn't even really live in the US anymore. People are here to hear you sing not talk about Obama. The rest of the night degraded with her doing a striptease, laying on the floor asking for money for Hurricane Sandy (but hey- YOU are richer than everyone in here combined probably, why don't you donate 10%, or even 1% of this concerts proceeds!?!), and singing about how "we're all sinners and I like it that way".

The whole thing was just actually really sad. I think we kept hanging in there hoping that the next song would be a fun oldie, but it was mostly all her latest new-agey stuff, or stuff that seemed like it worshipped her even.

We drove home and actually had a really good talk about how as Christians we are sinners but God has redeemed us and does not leave us in our sin. And also how we are called to be salt and light in the darkness. This is really hard, as stuff like last night- and life being so broken in general, makes me feel so discouraged about the world we live in. And I daydream about some place that is wholesome and good. I guess that place probably doesn't exist outside of heaven though, and again, the mission is to show Jesus love to people who don't yet know him, which is a lot of people right here.

Bathroom Chats

Wow. I can’t believe it’s the first of December already. And I am 30 and 1/3. Geez, time flies.

Yesterday I was in the bathroom at work and I could overhear these women talking about their love for chips. It was amusing.

Lady 1: I love chips
Lady 2: Me too, I could live on them. Although it wouldn’t be healthy.
Lady 1: Have you ever had chip cookies?
Lady 2: No, but I want the recipe.
Lady 1: I like the folded ones.
Lady 2: I like plain.
Lady 1: I love all chips.
Lady 1: Except Better Made chips.
Lady 2: They are a poor excuse for chips.
Lady 1: They don’t even count as chips.

I was in my stall stifling a laugh. It just went on and on! But I totally agree on the dislike for Better Made chips, sorry Detroit, not your best.

Speaking of the bathroom, the other day on the door of the office bathroom stall this poem appeared:

“If you sprinkle when you tinkle, get to your feet and wipe the seat.”

Catchy, no? But something about it bugs me. I also hate coming into the bathroom and having stuff on the seat – although in random person’s defense – sometimes it’s just toilet flushing spray water. Anyway, I kept thinking about a response poem, like “If you don’t like cleaning up after slobs, maybe it’s time to look for other jobs…” I laughed, but I think it’s kind of mean, so I didn’t write anything. Someone’s just trying to make their job easier!

Last night Hubb’s grandpa had a couple minor strokes. Today he is in the hospital for tests. I felt like a listening/supportive failure because that stupid health side of me is just instantly thinking about the health part- and not the emotional part. So I start to ask a question, and then instantly say “nevermind”. But of course, that doesn’t fly in our house, so he kept asking me what I was going to say and I have to ask: “isn’t stroke one of the 3 leading causes of death?” Um… sorry about that. Luckily it was just us, and my husband in the medical field and is real about things, but that would not have been good to say in front of anyone else. And he knows I do care, I’m just awkward. I don’t understand why I can be so cold and factual about that stuff – I do care!!

Anyway, we are hoping and praying for good test results today for grandpa.

Helpmate

I'm so thankful to have such a helping husband. Last night I got home and my sweet Hubbs had done 2 loads of laundry, went to the bank and did an errand at the Dollar Tree for me, and made our yummy dinner of chicken enchiladas and roasted butternut squash and beets. So helpful! I hope I am such a good helpmate to him as he is to me.

So today I am moving offices at work. My new location will not be as conducive for blog reading as this one was, so I'm actually most bummed about that. I just love reading blogs! :(

enjoy today

I haven't been able to sleep well the past two nights. The first night my mind was racing on ways to get rid of the moths, and planning what new storage containers to get for our pantry. Then last night my mind was busy imagining our future house, future new cars, future babies. Now, mind you, none of those things are expected to happen anytime soon. But does that stop me from spending time looking at cars/houses/baby stuff online? No. But it should. There is a good side of being a practical planner, but there's a bad side of just wasting a lot of time that could and should be spent doing other things that are useful for now. Time that could be spent maybe cleaning the apartment we live in now, or enjoying this time alone with my husband, or sleeping. I really need to work on 'enjoying today'.

Search & Destroy Mission

So after work yesterday I came home and Hubbs and I got to work on the pantry. We brought out everything inspecting boxes for holes, looking for small piles of crumbs, looking for evidence. And we found it. Oh we found it.

First up was my precious box of Red River hot porridge cereal (only available in Canada). Andrew found clumps and webbies inside. Next I saw a moth flying aroung, trapped in a sealed bag of white rice. Andrew opened up a box of barley and a moth, from the family of moths living inside, flew out. And then, in a "air tight" container (that will be returned to bed bath and beyond immediately) a fat larvae worm was found chilling in a clumpy ball nest of popcorn kernals that he had made for himself.

We ended up throwing away probably about $75-100 worth of stuff. We didn't find worms/moths in everything, but just thinking about their eggs on our food totally grossed us out and we didn't want to risk potential eggs hatching into another moth cycle.

Then I wiped down the entire pantry and swabbed each hole (in the adjustable shelving part) out with a q-tip dipped in bleach in case any eggs were laid in there. And back in went our remaining tiny stash of food. They said the best thing for storage is glass jars with a screw on lid, so I am already looking for more.

We also ordered pantry moth traps. Stupid Home Depot stores don't carry them, you have to order online, so instead of already being able to catch the moths, I have to wait for someone to slowly ship stuff to me. But that's about all we can do. When I came home last night from book club I killed another 4 moths that were flying around. So gross. There were several screams heard inside our apartment that day. And many shudders.

It just makes me feel like it will happen again. Apparently you get them from infected stuff in the grocery store and then bring it home. And you are supposed to avoid this by noticing moths flying around in the grocery store and inspecting every box you buy for tiny pinhole sized holes.

But also some of the stuff in our home was packaged badly. Both the Red River and the barley were sold in cardboard boxes that you just punch out a hole to pour out the stuff and then it has only that cardboard flap "door", so the moths just crawled right in. Very poor packaging if you ask me. Need more jars!!!

So if anyone ever has moths in their kitchen, don't just assume they came in the window seeking light- it could be much worse!

Rotten Potatoes

Now while I knew that potatoes could get squishy and grow eyes when they are getting old- I did not know that they could get a crusty shell and bubbling out insides and leave a dried blood looking stain on your floor, and a smell that your husband describes as "death" as he immediately bagged up and took out the trash.

This is what I grabbed when I went to get a potato last night:

ewwww!!!! what?!?!?!

I wanted to cut it open. I was convinced something was growing inside. I had never felt that texture before. But Hubbs would have none of it, so into the trash it went.

And I continued to get a different potato and made a fantastic omlet for dinner. Potatoes, onions, garlic, chicken, cheese- it was a good one!

Last night we went to a 'how to save for a house' seminar thing. It was a lot of budgeting which we already do and then some on saving for a house and info on loans etc. We came home and looked again at the ol' budget and I immediately felt hopeless. I feel that we are so careful already. We both have old cars, pack our lunches everyday, don't really get much new stuff- and yet we are spending almost all we earn every month. How is this possible?? Not too promising for the stay-at-home-mom dreams. Stay-at-home-mom-living-in-parents-basement maybe! No thanks. So we'll see. I actually feel really lucky, Hubbs is really good with our money and I totally trust his judgment, but it is hard.

And then when we came home I immediately went for the sweatshirt.

I have lots of sweatshirts, but for some reason I always reach for this one. Good old $7 OU sweatshirt. Sexy I know.

Anyway, our 'free heat' at our apartment doesn't even turn on till October so it is already a bit chilly. Or maybe I've just gotten used to it being at least 80 in our apartment!

Toaster Ovens

When I was registering for our wedding one of the things I was most excited about was registering for our toaster oven. Sounds lame, I know, but I had had some 'problems' with toaster ovens before and I really wanted one that I was familiar with i.e. identical to my parents or grandparents. A simple toast button, and a dial for the oven feature.

But instead, one day going to my then fiancees house, his mom presented us with a toaster oven she had got us at family dollar, or some kind of store like that. The kind of store where they don't let you return things.

I should have been grateful, it was spontaneously generous of her, but I was disappointed that I didn't get to find the one that I wanted.

And last night, my old 'problem' returned.

Yes my friends, I'm talking about a toaster oven fire. My third toaster oven fire in fact. And the second one with those stupid corn tortilla shells!

It wasn't as bad as my first toaster oven fire, where those darn shells filled the entire kitchen of the house where I was nannying with smoke. As I stood there helplessly looking for the fire estinguisher. **Note to parents- ALWAYS tell your babysitter where that is kept, how was I supposed to know it was in the laundry room!?!** So yeah, I stood there helplessly watching the flames shoot up towards the cabinets after telling the kid to run outside. Luckily the mom had house painters over who ran in and threw the whole thing in the sink. So yes, quite embaressing. I had to tell the fire trucks that came that it was ok and they weren't needed.

Fire number 2 was the sad result of my bagel thins breakfast at then fiancees parents house one morning. I guess I just can't toast thin things very well.

And fire 3 occured last night while I was toasting the last tortilla shell for my dinner. I was sitting at the table talking to Hubbs when I glanced over and could see flames arising inside the toaster. He said I just stared at it repeating 'there's a fire, there's a fire, there's a fire' in a Rain Mannish type way. But Hubbs unplugged it, and somehow blew out the fire. And dinner was eating without tortilla shells. But at least I didn't burn anything down.

The first tortilla shell fire inspired me to write a letter to El Paso shells company telling them they should have a warning on their box of super flammable shells, which consequently earned me 2 free boxes, score!, but there will be no letter this time. First time shame on you, second time shame on me I guess. On the other hand, more potential free shells... eh?

Sick

Yesterday I stayed home from work. I don't get sick often, I've been here 10 months and it was my first 'sick day'. And it was earned. I woke up at 5am and was pretty much in the bathroom from then till 10am. I even threw up, twice, which I haven't done in years.

I just can't figure out what it was! Hubbs and I ate the same things and he was just fine. Everyone at work was teasing me that I must be pregnant, but nope. I did tell Hubbs yesterday that the nausea factor does make me dread pregnancy- and some people get it ALL 9 MONTHS. Which would be a nightmare.

So went to bed with a 100 fever, but woke up normal, with just a slight stomachache. Glad that's over with!