Monday, November 25, 2013

First Date

hahahahaha, this makes me laugh, oh Sheldon
So I went on a date on saturday. It was actually much closer to the top of that picture than the bottom.
Some pictures from my night:
There was dinner, dessert, ice-skating, cards, flowers, he drove me somewhere and lit off fireworks, a walk, and to top it all off, he even let me practice starting an IV on him! I failed :( He had said earlier he'd let me practice on him, but as I was about to poke him I was feeling like some weirdo, and was asking if he was sure, and he just said 'well I really like you, so go ahead', haha. Ok! But then I felt really bad for not getting it. Maybe on date #2??
He told me some funny things like how he'd spent a good part of the day driving around to everywhere we were going to go ahead of time to map it out. And practiced his cursive for my cards. He had told a lot of his friends about the date and they kept texting him to ask how it was going. I saw one text that he sent to his friend: 'Anne looks really good' :) When we were driving out to the place for the firework he asked me if I was cold, and then before I could even reply a blanket was being laid on my lap.
This guy is actually someone I sort of knew 12 years ago in InterVarsity at school. A few weeks ago I randomly saw him at a friend's party and we chatted a small bit. I wondered if I would see him on facebook, and then sure enough, the next day I got a message and we've been talking ever since.
I feel alternately scared and excited about it.
We'll see.
So then yesterday as I'm midway to church my car wouldn't go into any gear at all and I was in the middle of traffic with cars lining up and beeping behind me. And I found myself calling him to see if he could come get me. And I was instantly mad at myself. I didn't just spend the last 2 years becoming self-sufficient and independent to become some damsel-in-distress overnight. I jammed it into gear, U'ed in the middle of the road, and made it back. And today I'm being a big girl, called my own tow truck, found a place to get it fixed, and taking care of it.
I took the day off clinical to get this car stuff figured out, and I think it's really good to have some time to process and get how I feel figured out too.
Maybe that dichotomic picture is perfect for how I feel at this second; but I'm feeling gradually more ready to put down the spray can.
One thing that I really really hated about being divorced was how I just felt so embarrassed about it. I hated that everyone knew I was a Christian, and getting a divorce, I felt like such a bad witness. The people who know me, know it wasn't my choice. But it was still embarrassing having to tell my co-workers and others. And even in that, God was SO SO good to me, and really only a few people said things that hurt my feelings (and I think that was unintentional, altho it did hurt). Mostly people just loved me and prayed for me and walked thru it with me. But that is one fear I have now for sure. I'm afraid to get excited, and to potentially 'fail' again. I was talking it over with Liz the other day and that helped a ton. Just realizing that a lot of it is probably in my own mind. She said for her she would look at me, and be happy that I was happy and moving on. And if it didn't work out, she would be sad if I was sad. That was really nice, and I think it'd be true for the other people who care about me as well.
God has been so good to me, He truly has provided everything I need, He has taught me so much and brought me through something I could not see any way out of. So I think I can keep trusting Him.

Friday, November 22, 2013

it's friday... friday...

Today was definitely a cookie day. It's been a long week, and a busy past couple days.
Exam on wednesday, 92%, woo-woo! Work on Thursday was busy, this lady was coming out of her anesthesia and trying to get out of bed to go use the bathroom. We can't let them up right away because they are a huge fall risk. So we finally convince her to use a bed pan, and the second we get out of there to give her some privacy she gets out of bed and tries to escape. So I was holding the curtain shut and trapping her in there! Her mom was in there with her (the patient was 36, and about to become A GRANDMA) and she was crying and swearing up a storm and pooping on the floor. (That part couldn't really be helped though, she did just have a colonoscopy...) Anyway, I guess she was a ex-drug addict, and one thing we learned in mental health was that if a person does something to kind of stop their development (like start doing drugs) their development is trapped at that stage of whatever age they were, and I totally saw this in action with this grown lady who was crying and yelling at her mom like a teenager. Sad. Then I had to leave that drama and go to my clinical. Which went good, until my one classmate was watching a birth and apparently fainted. Our teacher got an emergency page over the hospital intercom to take her to the ER because when she came to, she couldn't unclench her hands. So we were all super nervous. I got a text last night from her saying she was ok, and I guess because she must have hyperventilated before she fainted, it did that to her hands, but how scary!
Today work was fine, just busy. I have to say making the beds is my least favorite part of my job. Otherwise, I really like it a lot, and think it's a great fit for me, and I love talking to the patients and trying to help them feel less nervous or at least that someone cares about them for a few minutes. A few people have told me they think I'm going to make a great nurse :)
Ok, so this was my night:
(not pictured: small fluffy dog licking a beater)
And some dinner
Jill loves me, she buys turkey sausage
and an applesauce attempt that remains to be tasted
And I'm thinking my socks might not be able to make it till Christmas :(
I actually found myself humming 'please Christmas don't be laaaaate' as I took this picture :)

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Weekend Update - with pics!

This weekend did not have enough studying in it, but it did have lots of good times. I spent some time with Jill and Mr. Becks eating popcorn and catching up on Downton Abbey season 4, now all there is is the Christmas episode! :( they need longer seasons.
At some point I made crockpot cream cheese chicken chili, this recipe is super good. This time it was a little different because I did some substitutions with things we had, but still super tasty.
I also decided I need to be eating more vegetables. Besides carrots. At meijer the other day absolutely nothing was on sale and I see the typical bag of carrots in my cart. So I went over to the loose produce section and see a huge bunch of kale, locally grown even, for $1.49. So I got it. I'm not that experienced with kale, but heard good things about vitamins, etc, and I know that it is a hearty plant that grows year round. Anyway, I made this salad with some ken's asian sesame salad dressing, cranberries, sunflower seeds, and avocado, and it is super yummy. Wishing for goat cheese, but still pretty tasty without.
And my mom brought me over a bag of goodies the other day. My friend Liz made this awesome homemade applesauce in the crockpot, so maybe I will try that with mom's orchard apples.
What else have I been up to...
I went shopping for my sister's bday, and while I was there I found a brown scarf that I really liked :) I was looking for something brown with a print and I really liked this one, it has gold threads through it too. Pretty.
I haven't had my overwhelming urge to bake cookies lately, but did make the cranberry crumble again. Yum. Although this time I ran out of maple syrup and it is a bit more tart that I would like, but still good.
And makes a very tasty breakfast on top of some yogurt.
I've also had a lot of longer study sessions intruding on my cooking time, and therefore quick tasty dinners.
Becks didn't get any.
Saturday I went rockclimbing with some new friends. First we met up at the house, it was a typical bachelor pad
The rockclimbing was really fun and I had a good time. I really like 'sports' where there is no pressure and I can just do athletic-type things, I'm pretty good in that kind of situation.
Sunday was church, my friend pointed out to me the church budget cuts, lol
Yesterday in class I learned how to start an IV (for the record, some of that spilled 'blood' was there before I got my turn). But we're not allowed to do it in the hospital as students, so probably won't do it for real until I get a nurse job.
And then last night I went to book club. None of us had finished the book, so we just enjoyed dinner and talking (as usual!) and rolled the book over to next month. The friend that hosted last night has this great Salvation Army by her house, so Liz and I stopped in before dinner, and I found something I have been looking for forever...
Liz pretty much handed me this shirt as a joke, but I was like "YESSSS."
Team Edward!

Sunday, November 17, 2013

the anatomically correct post

ok, this one is going to have a lot of stuff about nursing in it, be warned.
I watched 2 circumcisions last week. I was with another student crowded around this doctor who was performing a circumcision on a little day old baby boy. She clamped the foreskin and then was sticking in this metal tool to "loosen" the skin from the head of the penis. Then they screw on this metal thing that protects the penis, and draws the foreskin over the metal thing, and then they just slice all the way around it. Meanwhile baby boy is sucking on this pacifier and they're squirting sugar water in his mouth to distract him, he cried, but it did work a little. Then the doctor unscrewed that metal part and the tip of his penis was all purple and shiny and I started to feel sick. So I went out into the hall, and I meant to just lean back against the wall but I think I thumped against it pretty hard because my instructor ran out and was telling me to sit down, etc. I didn't faint, it was like the opposite, she said I was bright red, even my eyes. Weird! After a while I started to get curious so I went back in there. This doctor was explaining how she did it, and what could go wrong. Then she said the worst case scenario they have to amputate the penis. This one girl in my class has never even held a baby and she was like 'oh my'. haha, she believed it. So then my instructor says, "they're doing this new procedure where they use the foreskin to make new eyelids.... the only problem is they look a little cock-eyed".... she said it completely deadpan so I wondered if it was just an odd choice of words, but then I did one of those really loud laughs and then everyone else laughed.
It reminds me of this funny comedian joking about circumcision.
Some people in my class are really funny too, I love my group. The other day in class we were talking about ectopic pregnancies (fetus grows outside the uterus) and this one girl was like 'how did it get there?' and another girl goes 'well, Chelsea, you see... when a man and woman love each other...." and we all laughed. And another time the teacher was talking about a fetal diagnostic tool called C.V.S. and someone asked what that was again, and this hilarious guy in the back says 'it's kinda like a rite-aid'. Anyway, probably had to be there, but good times.
And sad patient-education times at work when the other day when I had to explain to this 20 year old girl how bleeding from her vagina and bleeding from her rectum were different. Did you miss that day in 5th grade!?!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

first snow

Tuesday we got our first snow! It didn't really do much, besides tack on a few minutes of chipping my car out of an ice block to my morning routine. I want to add a new scraper to my Christmas wish list, I just don't know if I can make it that long! I don't know when mine suddenly turned to crap, it worked last year!
I had some car tire drama this week. A couple months ago my tire was completely flat and I went and had belle tire look at it, and they said that there was a burr on the rim and it created a slow leak. So $20 later it was fixed. The other day, I was driving along, minding my own business and someone is yelling out their window to me that my tire was flat. I said thanks and continued on my way to a party I was already late too. A few miles later another kind Samaritan also told me that my tire was flat. After the party I filled it back up with air and went home. The next day I went to belle tire and asked what was going on. Anyway, there was a dent in the inside of the wheel rim and that was creating the leak. So I could either buy a new wheel, or ship mine out to be fixed (for $50 less). Who in the world is out there throwing away good money on a perfectly fixable wheel?!? So in a few days it will be back. Meanwhile I am driving around on the spare. The guy was like, don't go over 50. And I was like, oh I'll be going over 50, I still have to go to work. I should have asked the signs and symptoms to look for if something bad was happening! Oh well, I think I'll be fine. It was just irritating when I already took care of this issue, and now I have to ask people to do their job again. At least this guy was nice and said he'd reimburse me for the last 'repair' cost.
Every car issue just reinforces my desire to take a few auto mechanic classes after I'm done with nursing school. As I was at the counter talking about the tire problem, I was trying to differentiate between the tire and the wheel, so I'm telling the guy 'that silvery part' and I see him getting a little smile, and then I ask him if wheel and rim are the same (they are), and then he was like 'but you can call it 'that silvery part' that works', I don't think he was making fun of me, but I felt kinda silly. Anyway, hopefully my spare hangs in there a couple more days and hopefully it will be fixed for good!
Lately Jill and I have heard some scratching coming from the AC unit. Jill investigated yesterday
But we didn't see anything, so it remains a mystery. I'm too chicken to take the AC panel off or turn it on.
Lastly, I feel like this OB/GYN part B is really tricky, so I'm trying to study more than usual :(
My little lap warmer keeping me company!

Monday, November 11, 2013

Weekend Update

I feel like my blog post titles are so lame, it's always 'weekend update' or 'catching up'.... but that pretty much is life lately, school, cooking, and work! It's not all that bad though, I like all those things :)
This weekend I had plans to go dancing with one of my girlfriends from church. So the day comes and she said her brother (who was going to come with us) wanted to go downtown instead because one of his theater friends was doing a one man performance. So I'm imagining comedy, or even my mind went to imagining him with a drum strapped to one leg, a horn on the other, a harmonica strapped to his hat, etc. I guess that's a one-man-band btw. Anyway, so we thought it could be fun and we went.
Yeahhhh.... the first few minutes was him laying on this big block with his back to us pretending to nap. I was whispering to my friend, did I just pay $10 to watch a guy take a nap?? I mean you seriously never know these days what people consider "art". Someone even had on facebook today about a guy in Russia sat naked on the street and nailed his balls into the ground and put out a little sign that read: A naked artist, looking at his balls. Which actually when I read the article I kind of respected this guy. Anyway, back to the theater... eventually he did start talking and then it was an hour and a half of him ranting on and on in a series of tangents with absolutely no storyline, no plot. And 3 separate times he said something like "and I went to the toilet, and I vomited, and I vomited" as he crawled around the floor in his gym shorts and hanes white tee and laid his head on a big block and fake puked. It was crazy. At the end of the performance I refused to clap, well then he was looking right at me, and I clapped twice, but in my heart I only clapped in thankfulness that it was over. So yeah, won't be doing that again. The rest of the night was fun as we made fun of the show and went out to a bar and got some good snackie stuff. My friend was flirting with these bar guys at the table next to us and they told me that when I went to the bathroom one drunk guy had said: I'd give her my last name, haha, oh yeah, still got it.
Yesterday I had to skip church to go to the NICU. It was a good experience, had a great nurse but saw some sad stuff that continued to reinforce that I don't want to work with babies. A 1 lb baby that they said was going to die any day and a baby going through withdrawal (it's been 2 months now) cause mom did drugs during her pregnancy. Sad!
Then I had another dad/daughter dinner date. We went to Applebees and got dinner and talked. It was really nice, good talks with Dad about relationships, work, loneliness, and life. I felt like a big jerk today because I gave him an empty jar to take back home from tomatoes my mom canned and gave to me, and in there I had put a mini snickers from my goodie bag and gave to him because it's his favorite and I don't really like Snickers. Anyway, my mom who has been gone for 10 days calls me today and said she was eating a snickers and thinking of me, and I was like 'hey, that was for dad, the jar was for you.' So rude! I don't think she took it that way exactly, but I laughed about it later as I felt like a jerk. Hey why don't you go can me some more stuff. I think a mom/daughter date is in order!
Since I had to do that school thing on Sunday I felt like I didn't even get any kind of break at all this weekend. Sunday is the one day I get to sleep in past 6:30, and now it feels like forever till the next sunday.... oh well.
At clinical today I saw my first vaginal birth. Scary. First I stood in the hall listening to her screaming for several minutes. Then my teacher got permission for me to come in and the first thing I see is a little head coming out. And fluid spurting. And the nurse was yelling because mom was digging her nails into the nurse's arm. And then dad was yelling because mom turned her head and bit him in the stomach. Yikes! So then baby was born. And doctor is down there delivering the placenta and then he is yelling at mom 'stop moving!' as he pulled by her little cord coming out of there. Apparently he was going to cut something, but she flinched and I think messed up whatever he was about to do. He later apologized. I don't know, I haven't given birth before, so I was thinking mom was entitled to do whatever she needed to do- but my teacher said that was unusual. Actually I believe the phrase she used was 'that mom was like the exorcist'. Anyway, ouch! At the end of the day the mom thanked me for being so kind to her. I was kind of surprised because all I did was get her new socks and a gown and got some food for her. I really hope that that won't be her only kindness during her stay :(
Tonight I made dinner and tried to catch back up on my studies.
stir fry with lo mein noodles
cranberry chocolate chip muffins

Thursday, November 7, 2013


Today at work I almost had this scene from Monty Python:

Luckily I didn't say it, but I was sure this old guy was an old lady.
I cannot figure out what is going on with my patients, and why so few of them have teeth. Everyday I say to myself, stay in there teeth!!!
I passed another class, ob/gyn part a. One more section to go and then Christmas break! Woo, I am excited. I'm super excited to meet this beautiful baby girl!!! (shout out to Sarah the most amazing photographer I know!)
In school-baby news I'm finding myself not that crazy about ob/gyn. I'm kinda surprised because I always loved those TLC baby story shows, but this isn't that great. There is sooo much charting and boring make-sure-the-hospital-doesn't-get-sued that is just such a shame as I feel the time could be much more valuable with actual patient care, and labor coaching and teaching. This one birth I saw the first labor of it and mom was on bed writhing in pain, dad and daughter (who knows why she was there anyway) were watching cartoons, totally ignoring mom. And nurse looked at the monitors and left. I think I would like it if I were the midwife and I was at some home-birth, but I'm not crazy about this hospital way. Plus the smell of blood... shudder. But I guess it's good I'm seeing what I like and don't like, as otherwise I've liked everything and haven't felt much direction for a future specific area.
Made a few foods this week:
Thai Sweet Potato Veggie Burgers .... lots of chopping, and just ok :/ not nearly as good as her other veggie burgers that I love
Jill's recipe of chili, topped with store-brand 'fritos' (not as good, but good-enough and saved $1, haha)
Also this week I made my box for Operation Christmas Child!
My favorite thing this year is the glow-in-the-dark build-it dinosaur skeleton :) ... and I like the harmonica. I hope some 5-9 year old boy somewhere out there has a good Christmas this year!
And tonight after a long day at work, and evening at clinical I came home and found this:
Jill met with her mentor tonight, who brought over candy bags, and one for me too! Awwww, so thoughtful. I may or may not be typing this with a chocolate mustache right now :)

Sunday, November 3, 2013

weekend update

Another weekend blew by. Friday I worked and totally just vegged out on the couch watching tv with Jill after I made dinner. I tried a new recipe, white bean and chicken enchilada stuffed peppers.
sauteed peppers, onions, chilies, cooked chicken, cheese, and enchilada sauce
And dessert, vegan cranberry crumble bars.
simmering berries, OJ, and maple syrup
crisp! very tasty. I wish the cranberry layer was a little thicker, I'd prefer a 2:1 ratio for next time!
Saturday I worked. I am really liking my nurse tech job. I've stuck my foot in my mouth a few times with patients, but most interactions have been really positive. I had this funny lady in her late 70s telling me about mammograms and she literally mimed smashing my boob between her hands. Use your own boob for the demo, lady! haha, and then she said the plate smashes your boob so flat you think it's going to pop, "like a zit!" she said. We did laugh, but OW!! Thankfully that's still a ways away.
After work I had an hour or so to kill and I was just wondering what to do when I got a text from my dad asking if I was free for lunch. So we met up at Red Robin (yum) and got lunch. I'm pretty sure it was the first time in my entire life that we had a dad/daughter lunch date, (we have a great relationship and all, but just aren't lunch people I guess). Anyway I loved it. And then we did a facetime with my brother, his wife, my mom who had just flown in to CO, and my new baby niece Molina! That was fun. She's so precious!
After that I went to a Thanksgiving dinner party. Yes, a bit early, but a couple from my church hosts an adults-only party and this year I went. I was really glad I did. I brought dill potato salad, and vegan ginger cookies.
(I was a tad irritated because I hunted down that ginger and then after I made it I notice the recipe asked for crystalized ginger and my bag was uncrystalized (or viceversa) anyway, what's the difference and where do you find that!?!) but they were tasty so I guess that's all that matters.
Anyway, the food was awesome. The friends and conversation were great. One point I felt really bad because I had just met this new girl and there was a group of past/current nursing students and we were talking about catheterizing patients and practicing on the dummies. One guy commented his class had a male mannequin and they would just switch the 'gendered anatomy' but sometimes it would be black on a white dummy, etc. And she said something like she would have taken it home, and I smacked her hand when I was laughing and made her spill her coffee all over her shirt! I felt so bad! Luckily she was super gracious and said something like she felt like that was God smacking her for saying it. Haha. It was really fun and I was glad I went.
Sunday I went to my church, it was super good. I've been alternating churches a little bit. I've been a few times to one that is closer to me, but mostly because it has Sunday school and Bible studies. I love my church and the people there - I just wish we had Bible studies!
The rest of the day has been laundry, and catching up on homework!