Friday, May 25, 2012
With everything going on, it seems stupid to go back to blogging about food, and books, etc. I know my blog is called 'Anne's Everyday Life', but honestly everyday life isn't that great right now. It's been really hard. Last weekend I had lunch with my parents and I remember my dad telling me he hoped I could get to a place again where I feel joy and happiness, regardless if I get married again someday or what happens to me in that area. I wholeheartedly agree and want that as well. I have had times of happiness despite everything going on, and I do have hope for the future, but mostly right now I just feel pretty low. But I feel more hopeful than before, so that's good. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 1 Corinthians 15:19 If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied. And God puts me in my place again :) So my already low posts will probably stay low, but when there is something I want to share, I will. The other night I hosted book club. We have been reading an AMAZING book:
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
I have unanswered prayers, I have trouble I wish wasn't there. And I have asked a thousand ways, That You would take my pain away, That You would take my pain away. I am trying to understand, How to walk this weary land. Make straight the paths that crookedly lie, Oh Lord, before these feet of mine, Oh Lord, before these feet of mine. When my world is shaking, Heaven stands. When my heart is breaking, I never leave Your hands. When You walked upon the Earth, You healed the broken, lost, and hurt. I know You hate to see me cry, One day You will set all things right, Yea, one day You will set all things right. When my world is shaking, Heaven stands. When my heart is breaking, I never leave Your hands. Your hands, Your hands that shape the world, Are holding me, they hold me still. Your hands that shape the world, Are holding me, they hold me still. When my world is shaking, Heaven stands. When my heart is breaking, I never leave You when... When my world is shaking, Heaven stands. When my heart is breaking, I never leave... I never leave Your hands. Thank you to my sweet friend for sending me a cd of Christian songs including this gem. Here it is if anyone wants to listen to it. I love the truth that even though my world is being rocked and my heart is breaking, I am safe in His hands and His world is steady!
Monday, May 7, 2012
Well, there is going to be a change in Anne's Everyday Life. The real life, not the blog. Actually there has been a change, I just didn't want to say anything because I didn't want it to be true. I didn't want to put it in writing. I hoped it would get fixed. But it's not. I am getting divorced. New Year's Eve Andrew and I were having a bit of an argument when he got really angry. He said he didn't love me and wasn't happy. He shouted that he wanted a divorce. I thought he was just mad, although he was breaking the rule we had made not to say that. But as days passed and he said he felt the same I started to wonder. He went to counseling with me a few times, but the counselor said that individual might be better for us. And so he did that for a few weeks, but then he quit. He filed for divorce on April 13th. Friday the 13th. I wasn't superstitious before, but I will probably think of that every Friday the 13th for the rest of my life. He moved out last week. I can't describe how horrible it's been. A lot of my friends say they can't imagine how hard it is. And I'm glad they can't relate. There is nothing worse than your husband, your best friend, your partner, your love, telling you he doesn't love you any more and doesn't want to be married to you. It's hard too not having a "good reason". No one cheated or anything like that. In the divorces I've heard about you can usually see it coming. People fighting for years. Not us. We had a few of the same fights come up, but I thought we were doing good. When we were dating we would usually have a 'check-up' on our monthly anniversary. It was something we continued into our marriage. Every month we would ask each other how we were doing in our marriage, if there were things to work on, things we could do better, etc. But he said it was good, I thought things were fine. Andrew said he's been 'faking it' for awhile. Just trying to make it work. Tired of it. Looking back I remember he was a bit distant on our end of November trip to Toronto, but otherwise I look back and see someone who loved me and was happy.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Last night I should have turned off the tv and went to bed. But I didn't. A movie was coming on and I stayed up too late watching it. I should have known when I first saw Samuel L. Jackson's face (I don't like him) that it wasn't going to be worth it. But I stayed up anyway. The movie was Changing Lanes and it was pretty much a movie filled with revenge and escalating comebacks. The next thing you know one guy has made the other guy appear bankrupt, then he took the lug nuts off the other guys car and gets in an accident, then the other guy loses his wife and kids.. on and on. These movies are always hard for me because I've always been big on forgiveness. Yes, I know it's just a movie, but anyway. At the end they ended up learning about themselves and all was restored and they did forgive. So it wasn't bad, I'm just tired today. Plus, I was wakened up at 2am by my smoke alarm battery peeping loudly. I have now decided that smoke alarms should be equipped with clocks and they should only be allowed to die during daytime hours. The last smoke alarm battery died just a few weeks ago at 1am as well! Oh well, it probably is my fault, they say you're supposed to change them on DST and I didn't. Serves me right!
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Can I say 'back on track' if it's only been 1 day? This morning I got up on time and did an old favorite