Thursday, August 29, 2013

food & coffee

or caw-fee as my sister-in-law says :)
I decided that on Mondays and Tuesdays I am going to be a coffee drinker. After practically dozing off during my first clinical, and my teacher talking to me in the hall and saying I looked tired, I decided it might be necessary. I never wanted to be a coffee drinker, but maybe on these 2 days for the sake of not getting kicked out of school I'm going to have to bite the bullet.
Some might say, Oh my gosh Anne, how can you not like coffee?!?
Reasons I don't like coffee:
1- tastes terrible
2- makes your teeth yellow/brown
3- have you ever smelled after-coffee breath??
4- can be an expensive habit
5- unnecessary extra cals
and a huge reason,
6- I DO NOT want to be one of those caffeine addicted people who walk around like a zombie demanding coffee!
So anyway, I got one of those travel cups. I like it, BPA free, keeps it warm-ish, and most important leak/spill proof.
I stirred in instant coffee powder, a scoop of cocoa powder, a bit of sugar, water and almond milk- and it was doable. I went to look at those cappuccino mixes but they were all just sugar and partially hydrogenated fats. No thanks.
So far mental health is off to a good start. It's different, we just 'hang out' with our patients and ask if they are thinking about suicide. My patient was even kind of funny and we were joking around.
My stomach was growling so much in clinical the other day I came right home and made more portable snacks:
These trail mix cookies. I'm not sure what she meant by "chewy" mine were so crumbly I ended up making it into granola. This 'dough' was like the most tasty thing I have ever tasted in my life. So good.
Come to think of it, I didn't have almond butter so I think I used a bit more oil. Maybe that was why they wouldn't stick. And note-to-self, 'wax paper' is not a good substitute for 'parchment paper' I learned as the kitchen slowly filled with smoke!
I also made this blueberry walnut banana bread that I love.
The last thing I made for dinner was Mexican Lasagne, I love this recipe.
one layer of beans
for the second layer
cheesy and delicious
So 85* days aren't the most optimal for running the oven, but the food got made, and then it was back to studying!

Monday, August 26, 2013

Jill's birthday celebration

Saturday night we celebrated Jill's birthday. Friends came over around 8pm, and we had snacks and a few drinks and a round of Catchphrase. It was fun.
I had made this fruit crisp for her bday dessert:
I used peaches, plums and blueberries
It was wonderful (and even made a delicious breakfast to go the next morning!)
My friend Kim who will soon be moving back to Michigan!! woo!!
Jill wanted everyone to get dressed up and go out dancing, so off we went. We went to a dance place Jill and I scoped out last weekend, and had another good time :)
This is the after picture, we look considerably more tired (well I do anyway!) Happy birthday Jill!! I wish you a very happy year!
In other news, I am back out of the dating world, wah-waaah, well, at least with that guy. We went out with his friends Friday night which I thought was pretty fun and I thought I made a good effort to get to know his friends and find out more about them. Anyway, Sunday he calls and asks me some questions and ended up saying he thought our personalities were too different. So yeah, I wasn't sure how I was feeling anyway, so I think it will be a good thing. But it kinda stinks to feel 'rejected' again and even worse were the questions he asked me. I even hate typing it because it feels so embarrassing. He asked me if I was "depressed and cynical now because of my divorce, or am I always that way?" Ouch! There was a long pause of shocked silence when he asked me that, because I wouldn't have used either of those words to describe me! After we hung up though, I thought about it a lot. I really want to be open to ways that I need to change and grow, and continue to have God heal me. So I was thankful in a way for him to point that out. I asked other people who I believe actually do know me and whose opinions I value to see if there was any truth to what he said. One friend said that I probably was depressed last year as I went through the divorce, and I would totally agree with that. And she said that she would describe me as cynical regarding humor, but also cautious and not just accepting things at face value, but investigating. I would also agree with that.
I had looked up the definition of cynical and among the uses were "showing contempt for accepted standards of honesty or morality by ones actions, especially by actions that exploit the scruples of others." Double ouch! I'm not sure if that's what he meant, but if so, I really do need to keep asking God to heal me. I know I can get up on my high-horse sometimes, but it hurts me to think I come across as contemptuous.
The fact of the matter is the divorce did hurt me and did leave "negative effects". I know that God has brought me through, and has made me stronger and more thankful for all He's done for me. But I can't pretend it wasn't just heartbreakingly tragic to be left; and now I want to be more cautious first so I can move confidently into the future. I might just be 'too much' for certain people, and I guess that person isn't for me.
Anyway. Food for thought. So yeah. It's funny because I was just thinking about things I value in dating, and loving those what matters articles, and just starting to get a bit more comfortable. And I know I have room to grow. But geez, I want someone who actually enjoys my personality! (while giving me grace in my areas of weakness :))

Friday, August 23, 2013


I have entered the dating world.
It feels weird.
I have been quietly dating a guy, and I'm not sure how much I want to talk about it online. But so far so good.
Mostly it just feels different.
I really haven't dated since 4 years ago when I was dating Andrew. In my mind I remember how hard and fast I fell for him when we started officially dating, my brain conveniently forgets the 6 months that we spent just as friends. And so now when I think, hmmm, it's been a month and I'm not madly in love?? It must not be right. When really, that 1) is not that healthy, and 2) wasn't how it actually was anyway.
So far I have been asking tons of questions. It's probably not that cool when your dating guy says 'that question felt a bit like an interview question', haha, but on one hand, I don't really care, I want to know. And most of the time he says he likes my honesty and likes my questions. The other thing I've been doing is talking a lot about it with friends who know me and whom I trust. And I've been asking myself, whenever he asks me to do something, do I really want to spend time with him/do this thing? And so far the answer has been yes.
I do feel that this time of being single has been good for me. I have really become a lot more dependent on God, while also becoming more independent (of guys) and more sure of myself.
Haha, this thing online made me laugh- but the truth is I do like me :) and after much counseling and Jesus's work on me, I finally am at a place where I am ok with being single forever (not that I'd love it) but would rather that than just be with someone to just not be alone. And that is huge.
A friend sent me something from Focus on the Family called A Fresh Look at Dating about pursing a Godly spouse. It was really great, and I listened to it twice already. There were also many other resources on dating and marriage. And an article I loved called When to Settle which introduced the idea of a new standard when choosing a mate. It said:
A New Standard
What's needed is a new, objective standard for what makes a good match, because, for a Christian woman, there are some non-negotiables for choosing a mate. That's where Gottlieb's advice falls short. Thankfully we have a standard that's completely reliable.
A man must be a believer.
He must be able and willing to provide for his family.
He must love sacrificially.
He must be honest, have a good reputation and strive for the qualities of a spiritual leader. (See Acts 6:3, 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:6-9.)
If you're measuring a man against that list, considering his aptitude for growing into full maturity in those areas, then marrying him is praiseworthy. Even if he is shorter than you. Or younger. Or bald. Failing to meet our worldly expectations — our romantic shopping list — is no liability if he meets biblical ones. That's the only list that matters. And marriage to such a man could hardly be called settling.
I loved this article. And although I struggle because I feel like I made a good choice the first time around, I want to make an even better choice if I go around again. I have learned and grown so much thru this divorce, but I do not want another!! So I really want someone who, I don't even know how to phrase it, but is God's idea of a good match - not just mine.
To be continued! :)

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Vitamin Z

Our zoo is getting creative with its advertizing and encouraging people to get 'vitamin Z' by going to the zoo :). I went after work last night and my friend treated me to an evening at the zoo with her, her daughter, and some other friends. (thanks Jenna!) it was fun.
these gorillas were huge, kinda scary even
this must have been a popular rock to sit by because as soon as the first gorilla vacated this spot, second gorilla came right over to sit by it
the gardens all over the zoo were so beautiful
maybe you can't tell, but first I accidentally walked into the kid's tiny toilet stall. Which I thought was a good idea. What I didn't think was a good idea: the kid's toilet stall had a purse hanger, the adult toilet stall didn't!
Anna really wanted to see the 'horses' at the zoo, maybe she meant bats cause that's what her ride was, haha. For some reason I thought it was hilarious when Jenna told me her favorite spot on the carousel when she was a kid had been the bench.
pretty flamingos
peacocks running loose
pretty fountain
sitting watching the kids run laps
then Becks and I back to the grind!
I for sure have to go back to the zoo, still so much to see!

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Weekend Update

This weekend was so fun. Went out for dinner and drinks with co-workers on friday and stayed all night talking and laughing on a resteraunt patio watching the sunset. So nice.
Saturday morning went for a run. I ran last Saturday a little more than I usually do, and I don't know, but I did not exercise after that for an entire week! It was really unlike me. So this Saturday I got back on track.
Afterwards Jill and I walked down to the farmer's market, she got these beauties
I wish flowers lasted forever!
Saturday night we went scouting for a place to celebrate her birthday. We talked and laughed and danced and I tried to get my new favorite drink 'the Junebug'. I was drinking what the bartender gave me and kept telling Jill how it didn't taste at all right, was way too strong, and just not at all good. And then slowly realized I was drinking her red bull/vodka and my drink wasn't even made yet, haha, whoops!
(beautiful diamondy shoes from Elizabeth's wedding not shown)
Today after church I went up and spent the day with my parents. We ate lunch, and went on a walk at this nature preserve place. It was a beautiful day. Mom and I picked stuff from the garden
Mmmm... it already seems too long since I last made my favorite butternut squash/black bean burritos. I seriously love these things.
And no trip home is complete without 'man jobs' for my dad.
1- fill my barre ball with air, 2- help touch up the getting rusty mark on my car, 3- add a hole to my shoe straps so they stay on better
As usual, he conquered them with ease.
Tomorrow I have orientation at school and I just remembered I didn't finish reading and there is going to be a math test, so off I go!

Friday, August 16, 2013

job shadows

I saw 5 butts yesterday.
I went and job shadowed my friend at the hospital where she works as a nurse in the Endoscopy wing.... ward, section? I'm not sure what it's called actually. Anyway, I actually went to the wrong hospital at first. I didn't know there was a St. John Macomb-Oakland (Oakland) and a St. John Macomb-Oakland (Macomb), silly me. So I went to the one I knew existed by my old apt and was walking around. People were so nice to me, like oh you're observing us today? right this way, here is where we do this.. here is where we do that... and then when no one knew my friend, they were like are you sure you're at the right hospital? Um... what?? It was kind of embarrassing. So I zipped over to the right one and got started. I was first starting to panic when she was talking to me about what the nurses do, I was thinking, I don't know how to do that!, but then I remembered I was only observing and felt better. And later I thought I could have totally done what they were doing.
So anyway, I watched 5 colonoscopies. It was cool. I was wearing a little face mask to protect me from any 'splatters' and I was glad I had it on because this one patient farted continuously during the entire procedure and I was silently laughing the whole time. So I was glad no one could really see my face. I also got to watch 2 down the throat ones into the stomach looking for bleeding and the beginning of one into the bile duct. Neat stuff! People were so nice to me. I feel like being a student is such a door opener, oh you don't know anything? Let me show you and explain what I'm doing. So helpful! I feel almost like I could get them to let me observe anything! The nurse was asking the doctor if I could watch, and he turns his back to me and says I don't want any nursing students in here... especially good looking ones... in his little foreign accent. It was funny.
I start school on monday again and I am excited to go back. I saw Stan yesterday and was telling him I felt a bit bad about soon not to be a paralegal anymore. I asked him, am I becoming one of those people that gets their identities from their career?!? He said no, just that I worked hard for it. And he said anyone who came in and said they watched 5 colonoscopies with a smile on their face, was moving into the right career :)

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Things I Made

Recent crafts
I made these little booties for my baby niece coming soon!
puffy painted this onsie
Next craft was a "felted sweater" very loosely based on a Martha Stewart episode I saw years ago
First I cut down the sweater from a woman's sweater, and sewed it back up. I actually sewed this stupid sleeve on 3 times because I kept doing it inside out. I ended up frustratedly throwing it out, but the next day I dug it out of the trash and did it right.
Sewing on a rabbit shape from cutouts of another sweater
I actually "felted" by sewing on felt bits, not doing it like in the Martha Stewart. I wasn't sure about the red flowers, but the rest of the family voted for them. I think the googly eyes makes it look a bit silly, but too late now!
The back. Hope baby girl likes it!
Recently made eats:
I had one last cup of quinoa in the pantry that I wanted to get rid of. It's not my favorite grain, and now I feel guilty eating it since my mom told me that the countries that grow quinoa and used to depend on it, can now hardly afford to eat their own product since the Americans are going crazy about it and it's driving up the prices :(. So anyway, I used it up and made a Cumin Lime Black Bean Quinoa Salad which ended up being quite tasty. I hate how those little grains looks like parasite worms, but otherwise was tasty.
Followed that meal up by eating the rest of my mom's carrot cake, so good!
I'd also been wanting to make zucchini boats. Got these huge guys from mom's garden.
Browned beef with onions, garlic, peppers, tomatoes, and spices
Filled up the boats and topped with cheese. I think I was supposed to bake the zucchinis a bit first by themselves, but I didn't know that. So mine baked a little longer.
The end result was kind of 'meh'. But the next day I put some of the reheated leftovers in a tortilla and topped it with a fried egg, and it was amazing!
Random flower bouquet from my lovely mom
Jill actually made this chicken and I made the veggie sides. Mom's garden beans with this potato salad that I am in love with.
Good eats!

Monday, August 12, 2013


Wow, I really must have been watching too much Pitch Perfect. Last night I caught myself thinking, I should just move out east and go live in a college dorm out there, that's where everyone falls in love.... and then I realized I am a 32 year old woman and way too old to live in a dorm.
Oh well. Maybe God has another plan for me.
I was going to share stuff I've made lately, but apparently I did not drag the pics to my flash drive, wah wah.
So instead, some Bible verses that have meant a lot to me over the year.
And this may be borderline sacrilegious, but it makes me laugh, and it's true!!!