Bball and lies

I am proud to say I have played my very first basketball in my entire life, and it was fun!

Last week I mostly shot baskets by myself and then some other people came over, and one guy said next week I had to play. So today was the day. I wasn't awkwardly lined up and picked last either. So that was good. I think I did pretty good for my first time! I did get the ball once after a rebound, but missed my shot, wah. But I did do a good job of guarding my girl, a lot better towards the end of the second game though. As we were running along I kept thinking, am I supposed to screen someone??, how do I v-cut again?? It's hard to tell what to do, it's not like anyone is yelling out their moves as they play.

Anyway it was fun. I'm excited for next week.

And even after I was all sweaty and gross and everyone could see how bad I am at basketball, that guy asked for my phone number again. I said no. He asked if I had a boyfriend, and I lied. I felt bad afterwards too because I'm not a good liar, just seemed like an 'easy out'. I thought later I could have said I was interested in someone else, which is kinda true, I'm interested in the idea of a future husband who most likely isn't that basketball guy. Lol. Anyway, I definitely wasn't mean about it, so I think I'm fine.

Cooking fail

I went to make some of my favorite tostadas the other day. It was already like 7 or so and I was really hungry. I'd used up a bunch of leftovers from the bare fridge and when I went to put it in the oven, I must have bobbled it:

I don't even know how it happened, but they fell, cheese side down of course onto the hot oven door and even into the crack.

I was so mad! I did laugh and get my camera, but I was mad.

Confession: except for the one that fell mostly in the crack, I scraped them off the oven lid and cooked and ate it anyway. That actually grosses me out a little, who knows when that oven lid was cleaned, but I had seriously just used everything eatable left in the fridge to make them, I was hungry, and my plain stubbornness made me do it.

Of course first I had to turn off the oven so I could clean off all the melted cheese, salsa, and smeared refried beans. It didn't help that that day was the the first of the really hot days, and I was soaking wet sweaty and nasty as I scrubbed a 350 degree oven in already 85 degree heat. That probably didn't help my irritability.

I'm starting to get worried about the summer. After not sleeping much this winter because of loud pipe noises, it's looking like I'm not going to get much sleep in the summer either because of the heat. It gets really hot and stuffy in my room. My old apt was hot too, it's not just here, but we had a nice big window and some nights 3 fans going. And on the really bad nights we'd drag the air mattress into the living room where the AC unit was. I've thought about putting a little cot in the basement here, but it is a shared basement and the thought of people coming down kinda creeps me out. So hopefully the fan(s) situation will work, we'll see I guess!

Recipe recap

Last week I made slow cooker tamale pie. I get home kinda late from basketball class and I don't want to have to cook dinner after that and eat super late.

there it is all cheesy and delicious

digging in

The one problem was that the recipe uses a jiffy cornbread mix and I made my own since Jiffy uses lard, but their box must make a small thing, and my cornbread recipe made a lot, so there was a huge loaf on top and the ratio seemed off, but otherwise tasty.

Ready to relax and eat and watch episodes of Arrested Development season 3 to prepare for season 4!!!

dating class, oh, I mean basketball class

So I'm 2 for 2 now with my basketball class.

Last night's guy:

To set the stage, world's briefest conversation about motorcycles, then

Guy: You like motorcycles?

Me: Yes.

Guy: I'd love to take you for a ride on my Harley next week

Me: I'm more of a Kawasaki kind of girl

Guy: Wow, wow.

.....

Guy: Well think about it and tell me next week.

Me: *thinking* that gives me one week to figure out how to say no

The problem is battling my motorcycle ride lust vs. not wanting to give mixed messages and not wanting to have another 6 weeks of awkwardness at class. I need to have my friend Jill in my head all the time helping me 1) figure out what people are really trying to say/ask me and 2) how to respond without being a complete jerk!!

meals of late

Beef stirfry

sliced and diced (and beef strips browned)

the most important part, the sauce, I'm getting better at it...

frying it up

yum!

And a snacky type recipe:

At work a girl brought in these "Aussie Bites" from Costco. They were SO good. But I don't have a card, and wanted to try to make some myself. I used this googled recipe

All my dry things in there, flours, sugar, nuts & seeds, coconut, cranberries & apricots

They turned out pretty good! Not quite as good as the store ones, but still pretty good. Now I have a bunch in the freezer for my work snack.

Last night's dinner wasn't as great as I had hoped. I was looking forward to this recipe for weeks, but it went in the trash after I tried it out. This blog girl's food always looks so mouthwatering, but mine is always just 'meh'.

the tomatoes looked so perfect

Ingredients: mozzarella cheese, basil, baguette, olive oil, s & p

Tomatoes and bread ready to roast (the bread was like the best part, but all Kroger had left was white baguettes, I could feel my blood sugar spiking with every bite)

The cheese and basil. The blog girl used fancy fresh mozzerella, but I wasn't about to pay $6 for cheese, sorry.

There it was all assembled with balsamic vinegar dressing. NOOO!! STAY ON YOUR SIDE vinegar!!! :( It was kinda good, but I don't know, the croutons got all mooshy from the roasted tomato juices and I just wasn't that impressed.

Then my stomach hurt again when I went running after dinner. From the food? Or seriously how long do you have to wait to run after eating??

This past weekend for mother's day I went home and made my mom beef stroganoff, asparagus and corn on the cob for her mother's day lunch, and it was delicious. Then for supper later we just wanted something small. "Pancakes or waffles?" asked Dad, "PANCAKES!!!" I yelled from the living room. My dad is thee best pancake maker. A bit later I heard mom telling dad that she could start the pancakes, and he said, "she wants ME to make them". Yup. Yes I do. I don't know his secret, he just follows the Betty Crocker recipe, but they are SO delicious every time.

Church yesterday

Yesterday at church the worship band played this new song Oceans (Where Feet May Fail). Oh my gosh. Amazing. Some of the words really stuck out to me "You've never failed me- and you won't start now," "Let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me," "Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander". I already feel like God really speaks to me through worship and the words of songs like this really hit home. Of course I thought about this past year and I just kept thinking about how good God has been to me. Those words are so true. So of course I'm crying and sniffling by the end of the song, and it's like just make it to the car!

The sermon too was on miracles and the pastor talked about how we have to trust that God is good and His plans are good, even if we have to climb the mountain instead of the mountain being moved. He knows the race marked out before me, and He will help my feet not to fail. (Heb.12:1)

For me, God didn't move the mountain. He loves Andrew so much that He allowed him to make his own choice, God would not overstep Andrew's will. And although that meant the end for our marriage, I love that about God.

But God also didn't leave me there, He gave me the ability to climb over the mountain, He carried me. He never failed me. He called me into deeper waters than my feet would ever have wandered by myself. Where I had been 'content' in my relationship with God, being divorced brought me to a place of absolute brokenness, hurt, fear, rejection- a place of needing God more than anything else. My faith has been made stronger and I'm so thankful for the good that God has brought out of the brokenness.

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands. Psalm 138:8

Done!!!

I am (almost) halfway done with nursing school! Woohoo! And I didn't fail!! Yaaay!

Today was my last exam, and then met up with a few classmates at a bar. Good times. Now it's the summer off (from nursing school at least), still working, and reading thru ALL my notes from this year so I don't forget. I'm ready for a break!

Well I did go to my first basketball class last night, aka white girls can't jump. Specifically one white girl at least.. First it seemed like I was going to be the only girl, but a few more trickled in. I was relieved until I saw one girl's shirt "basketball championships 2008", this is a beginner's class people! Go to intermediate where you belong!! But the girls were actually really nice and were teaching me to play 21. I was asking the coach/teacher if this class is going to actually teach me to play because I have absolutely no interest in paying $100+ to have another nightmare of 9th grade gym. He said he was sure I'd learn something. We'll see I guess!

So I found the perfect place to go to have people hit on you, yup, basketball class. The perfect place that is if you are into just out of high school boys. Two guys said something to me last night, on the way out the one said "Can I talk to you?" Me: "No". Sheesh, I'm so awkward! But don't ask me like that and make it weird, just talk to me! I must have impressed him with my mad skills.

love lately

Haha, these made me laugh (from failblog.org)

I like that sweet little cactus one, although I don't really believe it, there are many amazing women, I even know some myself, that haven't found anyone to share the rest of their lives with. And even as my counselor so heartbreakingly honestly told me, "you could get divorced again and again". Gee thanks! But keeping it real I guess. As I know too well now, I can only control me and my decisions.

I really like this saying

May the Fourth

This weekend was a busy one, I didn't get hardly any of my chore stuff done, but did get lots of hanging out with friends and family done.

Friday I went to the BBQ of a guy from church. Another girl and I were wondering why he invited us, because I hardly know him, but he is a friend of another friend. Maybe that's why. Anyway, I get there before all my other friends so it's him and a bunch of his co-workers. I felt kinda oddball since I barely knew him anyway, but it worked out. I used to dread that type of scenario, and it's still not my preference, but it has been good to get me out of my shell. His co-workers were all super nice, one lady took me under her wing, and people were just really nice. I brought tuna steak to grill and it was delicious, and made a great omlet the next day!

So it was a nice time, even though there was a mix of people there it did make me again hate being divorced and being single again. I feel like I'm at a place where I'm 'ok' with it, but mostly because there is no other option. But I did cry to Jill that it sucks, and I don't care if no one says life is fair, it's not, and it sucks.

Saturday I did some helping out at my grandparents house that is being sold and de-junked after 50+ years of them living there. It was fun hanging out and working with my aunts and uncles.

Then I went and crashed a Star Wars party. Good times. My favorite is the last one- and I love the music and everything, but the versions we were watching were these stupid updated ones and they changed the ending!! >:( Any true Star Wars fan would like this one better.

Becks you're not looking!

Sunday was church and then I spent almost the whole day sorting, packing, and visiting with my parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents and working on the house. It was nice. Mom and I did take a quick trip to the grocery store to get some stuff to grill for dinner and when we were checking out the guy says to me: "wow, you're just too beautiful". I didn't hear him, and said, 'what', so he repeated it. Then I was laughing to myself cause that's the exact thing my brother would make fun of me for, wanting to hear a compliment twice, but I honestly hadn't heard! Anyway, what I was thinking was, wow, that's the first compliment I've gotten in a year and a half, but what I said was: thank you :)

Run

So I either need to get stronger glasses or not run at dusk... (or maybe both)... I went running yesterday evening and as I was getting to this part on the trail I could see up ahead what appeared to be 2 hoodlums standing by the edge of the trail and I started to get nervous and wished for my mace. Anyway, as I get closer I see it's just 2 posts. Lol. Heart rate back to normal. What a close one!, jk, but you never know, it could have been 2 tall skinny hoodlums!

girl's night

Last night I went out to dinner after work with 2 of my favorite co-workers. It was a place I'd never been before, but supposedly had good happy hour stuff and it was one of the girl's favorites and had outdoor seating. So we get there and instantly I did not even feel pretty enough to be there. Every girl was like a model and you could tell all the guys were rating everyone. It was like a meat market. I went to the bathroom and took a moment to pray and ask God to help me be confident in who He made me to be. And to make me a woman who is beautiful in ways that really matter. I felt better after that, and the food was amazing, and we had good talks and laughs together.

But it does warrant further thought. How does a woman "be a woman" and be feminine without that just meaning trying to be sexy? I don't even know.

I love google, it has helped me so much, here's what I found in one of my searches:

Women must find their worth and identity in who they are in Christ. What Christ finds precious is described in 1 Peter 3:3-6 which says, “Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.” There is nothing evil about wearing makeup, nice dresses, braiding the hair, or donning gold jewelry (see Ezekiel 16:1-19 in which God metaphorically describes Himself giving Israel jewelry and nice clothing). What is evil is making outward appearance the sole objective and goal to define womanhood or to find worth. Womanhood is not based first and foremost upon outer appearance but in the state of one’s heart.

A godly woman is a comfort and a companion, one whom a godly husband can trust and delight in (Proverbs 31:11). Her tenderness and peaceableness is the adornment which God says is definitive of a woman of God. Women should dress like women, and they have the right Biblically to take care of themselves outwardly, even doing what they can to look their best, if they so desire (and their husbands probably do so desire). Outward beauty is not evil in and of itself, and neither is having a pleasant, elegant personality. The Bible condemns preoccupation with the external because it is vain, and it condemns charm that is deceitful, seductive, and manipulative because such is devilish, evil, ungodly, and riddled with lies. In God’s view, it is the woman who fears the Lord who is to be praised (Proverbs 31:30).

True womanhood is not found in a woman trying to see how many men she can get to check her out. She is not to seduce them by lust, but she is to attract a godly man by her own godliness. Her adornment can be external as long as it is modest, discreet, and proper. This does not necessarily equate to bland and unstylish, but it does mean taking care not to stumble men into sin.

A woman must guard her heart above all else, and she must be free to be who God made her to be. She is different than man, she is the complement for man, and she has different roles in marriage than the man. True womanhood is doing all that she does, regardless of where she presently is in life, to the honor and glory of God by honoring His Word. Truly, a woman who fears the Lord is a difficult find (as is a man who fears the Lord), but these will be praised by the husbands who are blessed enough to marry them, by those who are treated kindly by them, by the children who are raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord by them, and ultimately by the Lord Himself.

Wow! What a goal to live up to.

Also, I've heard this song a few days on the radio now and I love it! I love these lyrics: "Why do I try to work outside of you? Knocking down doors I should be going through, But I’m so tired, I’m so tired, You take my burdens off of my shoulders, You break the lies that hold me back, I’m not sure enough. You’re my revival song, you start where I belong, On my knees, on my knees, When I am weak or strong you meet me here, When I’m on my knees, on my knees."

Lol, before I saw the lyrics I thought it said "when I am weak you're strong", whoops, I like my version better tho :)