Reflections on 2023 Goals

 Goals for 2023:

- Complete the Love & Respect workbook with Doug, there are 52 chapters so should be able to do 1/wk (I have seriously had this book back from Andrew days, never did it, and think it could only benefit us) - We did about 15 chapters.

- Complete a Parenting from Surviving to Thriving workbook together, 12 chapters, so 1/month - We completed 2 chapters. This workbook was pretty intense with each chapter being about an hour of reading/questions/reflections on our own childhoods and it was a good reference, but took a lot of time and thought. 

- Date nights 12x a year, finish our dance lessons CD together, and attend a marriage conference - We probably had about 6 date nights. We were doing good with our date trades with another couple friend until some issues came up, so we need to get back to hiring babysitters. We did some of the dance CD lessons, did not finish. And did not attend a marriage conference. We DID go on one short getaway cruise alone together for our anniversary, so that was great. 

- Purchase a new rental property - Nope. The still high Seller's market, 8% interest rates, etc were just not in our favor again this year. But our rental property is still going well, so we are thankful for that. 

- Use my harp lessons gift certificate Doug got me when I turned 40 - No, still need to!

- Make a school decision for our son, keep him in school or move to a hybrid/homeschool option - Yes. We made a decision to do the hybrid/homeschool option this year. I think we are mostly pleased with the decision? Some of the pros and cons are exactly the same thing. Pro= he's at home more; Con= he's at home more (lol)  = more work, more fighting, less time to spread between 3 kids. I do feel he is learning well. He obviously likes being home more having more time to play and more flexibility. The teaching him to read has been really hard. Next month we are going to hire a weekly tutor to hopefully help jumpstart his reading  a little better. It will be a whole new world when he can read. When we ask him if he likes this school option better, he says no, but always like something "I miss the playground" (the hybrid school meets in a church with no playground), or he misses his old friends. We have noticed that last year he would very very frequently ask strangers if they believed in God (his old school's motto was "share Christ's story with love") and we've noticed that settling down, which is a shame. I think the Wednesday chapel the old school used to have can be livestreamed, so I've been thinking about having him watch that weekly so he can still have that Godly aspect of school. The hybrid school is mostly ran by Christians, but since it is state funded, it is a neutral school. So we definitely miss that Christian aspect. But overall we do think it is working well for our family, so we plan to continue on next year for him as well as for our new kindergartener. 

- Complete the 10 minute plan (I did her 12 week postnatal plan pretty much on repeat all of 2022 so I'm ready to move to the next level) - I'm 1/3 done! I still ended up repeating the postnatal plan almost most of the year. I had some Diastasis Recti, even 2 years post pregnancy, and I was so afraid of moving on to her new program and maybe making it worse. So over the summer I did about 10 weeks of Physical Therapy to get that closed. When I finally got it good enough to "graduate" I started the new plan. I'm in phase 2 now, and I do like it, altho it's actually not as challenging as the prenatal one believe it or not. But she says phase 2 and phase 3 will progress, so maybe. I've already bought her Firm30 series to try after I finish this one. 

- Read through the pile of books that has been on my nightstand for years now

- Another year, another no. BUT I feel like I have to stop being so hard on myself about this one. Every year I read at least 10 books for book club. And I've read 3 of the Narnia books with August. And I know I've bought/been gifted prob 4 or 5 other books that I'm trying to work my way through. I was thinking about it, a fiction book I can just slam through in about 3 late nights on the couch, but these non-fiction, life changing books, just need so much thought and reflection, they are a slow go. 

Books (parenting) I did love this year:

30 short chapters, and helpful. I keep it in the bathroom for quick moments of "alone time" lol. Definitely worth the continual re-read. 

Only halfway through this one, but LOVING it. 

This was one I was surprised I liked so much, but it might be my favorite mothering book I've read. 

- Complete this prayer journal (I like it's weekly and not daily, seems more attainable) - I made several weeks in, I liked it, just couldn't make it a habit I guess. 

- Transition the girls into sharing a room (after 15+ months, we need the baby out of our room!) - Yes! Once we finally made the switch everything went fine. This was one of those things that I just was so anxious about forever, but when we finally just made a decision and did it, it was a lot smoother than I'd imagined. There was a little difficulty because I still nursed her at night, but she was starting to finally slow down at that point anyway, and was done nursing altogether a few months later. 

The room before:

Jeanie got a new bed, I found it by the road in our neighborhood. I knew it was a Grandma's house and she'd only used it for watching her granddaughter for sleepovers. I painted it white for my girl. 

Lucy's side got decorated for her. 

The girls' growth pictures, bookcase, and little collections. 

A room for 2 little girls:

- Get Jeanie potty trained - Yes! She's been most of the second half of the year accident free and that has been great. She goes without even telling me, or needing help, so that's been great. 

- Think about a job/career switch - Thought about it. Deciding to stay in my spot. I think I'd like to go to Mother/Baby, but would have to work midnights. I can't even fathom that logistically now, but maybe could revisit this when all the kids are in school, even the hybrid school, but we are about 3-4 years away from that anyway. But who knows, if we lose our parent babysitters at some point, we might have to make some sort of changes before then anyway. 

- Find some way to streamline cooking/cleaning/laundry??? - I know what works best is to have a list of 10 meals and just always have the ingredients to make them. I've had a big tupperware of fresh veggies that people grab from for lunches/snacks. But I do get annoyed that it's 99% me peeling/cutting/chopping those biweekly. Doug is a great help with grocery shopping tho. The second half of the year we have hired someone to come clean once a month. So at least once a month I have washed floors. Which is a lot more frequent than I could say before that. We got a cordless stick vacuum that I love and even August can use it to zip around and clean up after meals. And we got a very expensive new vacuum for the carpets, which even though it does a good job, unfortunately I hate it and wish we wouldn't have gotten it. It is so heavy and so loud I wear the kids ear protectors, and it has a dual motor so it's powerful, but that makes the vacuum part thick so it can't go into small spots like my last one. And I hate I'm stuck with this thing for like 10 years till it dies. Laundry, meh, no way to streamline that I've found, but sometimes I get the girls to help me. They love to put the stuff from the washer to the dryer and then can pull things out one at a time for me to fold. They love to match socks. But 5 people means laundry several times a week. 

2023 has been a really great year overall. We are blessed with healthy, happy, lively children. We were able to take a trip to Louisiana and Mississippi mid- February, a road trip to Vermont and New Hampshire and Niagara Falls over the  summer, we went up to Bois Blanc Island Labor Day weekend, and we did our kid-free Bahamas cruise. We enjoyed a 2 week long visit this summer with my brother and his family, spending lots of time together. We celebrated the birth of my sister's baby after YEARS of praying and waiting and hoping and praying some more. We've weathered some concerns with our parents' health, my mom's new knee early winter and Doug's dad's cancer scare. We are THANKFUL for all God's goodness in 2023 and hope and pray and continue to follow Him into 2024. 

Reflections on 2020 Goals

If 2020 were a word, I'm pretty sure it could be summed up in one: "Covid". Well at least as I'm looking back on my 2020 goals:

- Read 2 books, then discuss and apply.  You & Me Forever and  Tactics Yes! We both read them, had some discussions here and there, but probably could have had a more thorough chapter by chapter discussion and lengthier application talks. 

- Lower my cholesterol into normal/good range! I did have a 3 month post-January recheck and my levels were lower, but still above normal. I will have another physical with blood work later this month, and recheck again. 

- Dance lessons. Um, yes? We bought the lessons! We did one so far, it was actually really fun, we just need to plan more "home dates" and do them. 

- Buy our second rental property and get it rented. Sheesh, again no. Last year we had an accepted offer, but then backed out after the inspection came back with tons of expensive repair to do. 

- See a financial adviser. Nope.

- Do a 5k together. Nope. Also, thanks to Covid, all 5ks this year were virtual. Lame. 

- Walk the Mackinac Bridge. No, this was also cancelled this year due to Covid, but I'm not sure I'll ever be able to do this thanks to my work schedule. If I don't work the actual holiday I'm required to work the day before or after so that would give no time for traveling up there :(

- Talk with our neighbors about building. We did chat with our neighbors about building, but also my desire to stay in this neighborhood has increased and there is no land available. We actually wrote several letters like "we like your house should you be thinking of selling!" and put them in mailboxes in our neighborhood, but no bites yet. 

- Learn to play a piano song. Nope. It seems like my free time is always during the kid's quiet times or after bedtimes, so I can't be plunking around on the piano :(

- Read through this stack of books:

I read Surrender to Love, and Retire Inspired, but the rest of those need to be read still. I did read 12 additional "fun" books, one a month for book club that I seem to have no problem whizzing through, but these "self-help" and application books take so much longer as I try to absorb the information and take notes. 

- Travel. Thanks to Covid, my host-brother in Germany ended up postponing his wedding to August 2021, so no international trips for us. But we did do some stateside traveling. Jeanie and I went to Colorado to visit my brother and his family in February; we did a weekend trip to South Branch, Michigan in June; and a long weekend in the UP in July. Glacier National Park, Montana in end of August; and Sedona, Arizona in October. And a couple times up North to see my Grandpa as well. 

2020 went differently than many of us planned, but it was a wonderful year of learning to be flexible, letting go, and trusting the Lord!

Reflection on 2019 Goals

Not only a new year, but a new century! Wow. Happy New Year!! The kids are napping, and I had a little nap too, and it's time to look back and see how my 2019 goals played out:

Lose the baby weight. - I guess we can call this a yes. I am at or a pound or two below my pre-baby weight. Although baby #2 definitely did a number on my stomach. I have a lot of stretch marks that have faded in color but the skin looks wrinkly. I find myself relating a lot to this blog girl that got an abdominoplasty because of big time belly bloat at the end of the day, and a stomach that she says "looks like the bottom of a burrito". Anyway, I don't know if a major surgery is in my future, but it's kinda funny at work we get abdominoplasty patients all the time so I'm very familiar with them! I probably could do more with weight loss and ab strengthening first before I'd think more about it, but it's true you can't weight loss or tighten loose skin. Oh well. I don't love the look of it, but kinda just figure it comes with the territory of having babies.

Get another rental property. - Nope. We got outbid several times and walked away from another property that our inspection showed a lot of mold and issues. 2020 is going to be our year I'm sure!

Save money. - I think we pretty much saved between 800-1200 every month. We also started saving more for the kid's private school accounts.

Read these books:

- Fail! I only read 3 out of these 9! I did read a book every month for fun for my book club, and I read a couple other books that weren't in that original pile. But out of that stack I only made it through: Bringing up Boys (loved it), Love & Logic Magic for Early Childhood (good, but when giving 2 choices to my son he always picks "option #3!" so that's frustrating), and Loving our Kids on Purpose (some good info, but not a favorite).

House Projects. - Replace the hall carpet with hardwoods.

- Kinda! We got new carpets a couple months ago. The pad is so much thicker and nice and it looks a lot nicer.

(can't exactly see, but the new carpet is in the bedroom wing and in the kid's play area.) It makes a difference, I used to have to vacuum at least weekly and I haven't even vacuumed since we got the new carpet a month + ago, it just doesn't show any dirt!

I want to replace the rug in the living room.

- We got a wool rug but unfortunately our cat instantly started scratching it, and it also shed like crazy so I hated that. So we got another cheapie. We also upgraded our tv cabinet and got a "new" flat screen tv for free when our friends sized up their old one. Score!

The big one will be replacing the front deck with composite decking.

- Yes! Doug did almost all of it by himself this summer with just a little help from my dad.

So nice and clean looking.

We plan to have the baby in our room for awhile and then have the two kids share the bigger back bedroom, so at some point that room will have to undergo a transformation from it's current treadmill/guest bed/storage/Doug's dresser and bookcase/closet situation.

- We decided against having the kids share for now, which unfortunately means we lost our office/exercise/guest room option. But it works well to have each kid in their own bedrooms for now.

Jeanie's pretty nursery.

And my favorite goal, vacation. - We have a little babymoon planned for February, no where crazy, but a new place for us- Gulf Shores, Alabama. I'm looking forward to warm, sun and sand, and baby-free time! We'd also like to take a fall family trip somewhere. Either our friend is having a destination cruise wedding to Cozumel, or he might not do that anymore and that would free us up to go on our own trip. We'd LOVE to go back to Hawaii, but the flights are always so expensive and kinda worried about the change with kids. We are also looking into Iceland. We shall see!

- We did our babymoon to Gulf Shores, Alabama. Loved it!

We also did our first family road trip to Chattenooga, Tennessee, loved that too.

spiritual goals for the year are to finish up BSF this spring/summer, start the new class in the fall, and I have a variety of mini devotions to work through on my Bible app: Keep Your Love On: Connection, No More Unglued Mama Mornings, Wait and See, Discover the Jewish Jesus, and 5 Days to Freedom from Angry Parenting- these are all plans I have saved so far. It's nice because each one is 1-2 weeks so I can do several of them over the year. We are in a good place church-wise and also joined a small group this fall so hope to develop those relationships deeper.

- Finished up the People of the Promised Land part 1 BSF study in the spring and started the Acts study in the fall. I finished 9 mini Bible study plan/devotions on my Bible phone app. Those are so nice, they have such a huge variety of topics and you can just squeeze one in whenever. We are also still in our small group and have met and hung out with several couples and families over the year so that is great.

2019 was a pretty good year for our family, we are thankful.

20 Things I Hope I Never Forget About My 20s

My friend Lindsey posted hers a week or so ago, and my first thought was "my 20s we're bad, I'm glad they're over" and then I had to stop and correct myself. Where the heck did that come from?!? My 20's were great. Full of new adventures and friends and experiences. The only year that was pretty much bad all year was 2012, the year of going through the divorce, and that wasn't even when I was 20! I was 30.5-31.5(ish) so why in my mind was it a bad decade?! Anyway, the only thing to do was to right that wrong.

I probably won't actually have a list of 20 things, but I do want to reflect on some of the bigger 'life lessons' learned during that decade (of awesomeness).

So, I specifically remember turning 20 because I was afraid to leave my 'wild teen years'. I was up in Northern Michigan at a student leadership training camp with InterVarsity and it was the summer I became friends with Jill over long walks after dinner and her making fun of my 10 shirts the exact same style just different colors

Ahh, so young, so tan looking

Turning 20 was fun and even kinda 'wild' as Jill, another friend, and I snuck out of our dorm and went skinny dipping in the lake at night (just girls, calm down).

My 20's also included my first mission trip! I went to Calcutta, India for 2 months and worked in a Mother Teresa orphanage.

Look at those sweet faces of those precious girls. My mom says I came home begging them to adopt.

In my 20's I took an epic road trip with Liz. With just a map and our Bad Girls Guide to the Open Road book we hiked into the Grand Canyon, slept in our car, tried to sneak into a ghost town, cooked sandwiches on the car engine, camped and I cried when I thought Liz was kidnapped (turns out she was just sleeping outside on our picnic table), we ran over a snake, (twice), and drove up the coast of California. I fell asleep as we left California and Liz drove us all the way to about Nebraska when I woke up, haha, friend drive sharing fail.

My 20's were a huge time of out-of-my-box personal and spiritual growth. I'll never forget the year I spent in Tulsa, Oklahoma as an intern for a mission's organization. I helped kids go on missions trips, was involved in Bible studies, tutored girls in a girl's home, worked with the youth group, was an intern at the church. It was a year of developing new relationships. I became friends with another Jill (Oklahoma-, then Kentucky-, and now Missouri- Jill) who is still my friend today

That was a year of learning about love relationships. I was a total jerk to this super nice guy and broke up with him telling him "he wasn't funny enough". ouch. (I did later apologize). Later I fell in love, and wasn't loved in return. It was a year of learning.

And it was a huge year for me as I decided to get baptized as an adult

Thank you God for saving me!

My 20s were years of education! I earned a certificate in therapeutic massage, a Bachelor's in Wellness, Health Promotion and Injury Prevention, and a certificate in paralegal studies. Now, I didn't say years of good paying jobs! But education yes, and years living at my grandparents and nannying which were both amazing experiences.

(especially being flown in private jets to Aspen... ah the good old days....)

There were trips and travels.

I loved our family trip out to Yellowstone National Park/ the Tetons

A couple years later the "kids" went on their first (no parents) camping trip to Tobermory, Ontario

let's hear it for cards!

There were lots of good times as a family, and fun times with my siblings. Bittersweet times too, moving Joel out to Colorado

and then Elizabeth a couple years later

I took so many trips in my 20s! India, Canada, Venezuela on a mission's trip

Mexico

me and Liz got a tour of Mexico City from a guy we had met on the plane

Costa Rica

Honduras

where I learned a lesson of failing as I failed my scuba diving lessons (and got the most horrible forehead sunburn of my life)

(and more good trips in my early 30's: Peru, Guatemala, and Hawaii so far!)

I was engaged and unengaged in my mid-20s. Valuable lessons learned there. Looking back now I think I just really wanted to get married because my 2 best girl friends were. It hurt at the time, but I know we're both happy we didn't get married. And then I did get married at 29. Which in a lot of ways was good, and I really loved him, and for a short time I thought we had a beautiful life together. And then of course, it wasn't. And even though the divorce was so hard and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, and the year was really really hard all year - it was also, as I've shared again and again, such a beautiful year. I had never felt such love and support and community from my family, friends, and Savior. I will never forget that.

Wow, God has been so good to me! I love seeing all these pictures and remembering so many wonderful memories and stories.

I'm SO thankful for all the amazing life experiences God has blessed me with so far, I look forward to another decade of love and learning and life!