Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Life Thoughts

The service this last Sunday at my church was really great. It was Father's day,and the sermon talked about a man's role to follow God like a son, and lead his family like a man. The four takeaway tips were to 1) reject passivity (have a vision/mission statement for your life); 2) engage with God (besides just Sunday mornings); 3) accept responsibility (stop blaming other and lead/confess/change); 4) lead courageously (have the courage to say no/ask for help). It was really good.
Looking back at my marriage I sometimes feel bad for Andrew. It seems hard to be a 'real man'. Being a Christian man is a big responsibility, and I wonder if being a new Christian with a new job, a new wife, and feeling the weight of trying to be a family leader- I can't help wondering if he felt overwhelmed and if that played a part in the divorce. He said it wasn't, but I honestly don't know how much he actually thought into it. Whatever the reason, I wish he would have been willing to do those things above and not just walk away, but it didn't go that way.
Part of the sermon was a video about a guy in our church who has an amazing story. Some background is him finding Jesus, deciding to stop living with his girlfriend, they both became Christians and are now married with 3 kids, and in September they are moving to India to help rescue women and children out of the slave and sex trade. Who does that?!?! So amazing. The sermon is here (I can't find the video, but the guys story starts at 32:30).
I've been thinking about it ever since.
It's hard because I find myself struggling with wanting the typical 'American dream' of house, family, job... but I just keep thinking about how I want my life to be an adventure and to do something that matters. I want a man that is strong enough to lead me and take me on an adventure with him. And if God doesn't have one for me, I want to be able to love Him enough that I will want what He has for me most of all.
From this aspect being single does seem kind of exciting. I can literally do whatever I want. I am free to go where God takes me. Do whatever He has for me.
It's also scary. I remember reading a book on Joni Eareckson Tada about 6 or so years ago and in her book she prayed and asked God to make her fully trust in Him and increase her faith - and within a week she was paralyzed from the neck down. I remember being so scared and saying I'm never going to pray for that! Now in my own life I have dealt with something I didn't want, and it has been amazing to see how God has provided and led me through. I often find myself praying and just being overcome with how good God has been to me. He is amazing.
Anyway. Now I need to listen to Him and see what it is that these plans are!
...choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15b

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