Friday, June 8, 2012

Family Weekend

This weekend I'm going up North for my cousin's ordination. There will be a lot of my family there that probably haven't heard about me and Andrew yet.
I'm nervous.
I know my family loves me, and most people have been super supportive. But part of me feels 'ashamed'. And maybe that's the wrong word- I know that I probably failed Andrew in certain ways to be the wife he needed, but I have to remember he was the one who chose to quit.
I don't know.
I can't help but feel I'm tarnishing our family reputation. Out of 8 of the aunt/uncle marriages there was only 1 divorce, and out of 11 of the cousin's marriages so far, I will be the only one. Not that I want anyone else to be divorced! I just can't help feeling like the black sheep.
Andrew's family was different. In their family divorce was a dime a dozen. I don't think that was better though, that kind of environment seems to only foster an idea that marriage is something 'just to try out'. And I don't think he received any real encouragement to work it out. I don't know. I remember Andrew telling me he thought marriage could and should last a lifetime. Guess not.
I'll be praying this verse for strength this weekend: "Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand." Psalm 73:23.


  1. You have NOTHING to be ashamed about. You did everything you could to save the marriage! Praying for you this weekend, girl. Love you!

  2. You can't control the path God brings you through, and He brings it for a reason! You have no reason to feel shame, you are beautiful and wonderful and loved and adored by a wonderful God. Praying big for you!

  3. Praying for strength and encouragement for you.