#blacklivesmatter

I don't know when I realized I was white. I grew up in Detroit, running up and down the streets with my neighbors, 2 black families, 1 white other than us, and a mixed girl next door. We all played together all the time.

I remember trying to have my mom braid my hair in those little braids, but they would always fall out.

I remember going to the Detroit Science Center and getting chosen out of my class to touch the static electricity ball because my fine hair would stick straight out better than my classmates.

I remember being outside the YMCA one day, where I learned to swim, and a man yelled at me and called me a "honky". (I was less than 9). I had no clue what that meant. But why would a grown man yell that to a little girl crossing the street?

I was the only white girl in my class. Looking back I think about my two best friends, Maya's father was white and her mother was black. And Mary Li, her father was white and her mom was Filipino. Were we best friends by choice, or we were friends because we were excluded otherwise?

I don't remember feeling left out, I just remember having fun with my friends.

I thought our neighborhood was safe. We went outside in the morning and played all day in each other's houses. But our lawnmower was stolen about every other year. My mom says it was the thump of a thief jumping off our garage onto our car (and denting it) that made her leap off the couch from her bed rest while pregnant with me and try to chase the thief that made me turn from head-down to breech, resulting in a cesarean for her. And my dad's shop got broken into several times, and once his van filled with work tools was stolen as he was inside paying for his gas. The bullet through our front door during a night drive-by was the last straw and we moved. My new school had one black boy in it and that didn't even happen for several years till I was in high school.

I don't even know what is happening with our world right now. I feel very safe at home looking out my sunny window. It's crazy to think a man was just suffocated while other men watched. It's crazy that other police men in recent days have been killed by a mob and riots. Businesses, homes, and property of both races are being destroyed. And on the tail end of this corona virus that has already made people isolated and fearful of each other. It's just so heartbreaking. I just pray for Jesus's healing love over this nation.

I read a few good posts on FB that I wanted to share.

Come Lord Jesus.