Divorcesary

Praise the LORD, all you nations; extol him, all you peoples. For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever. Praise the LORD. Psalm 117:1-2

It has been one year. Wow.

One year ago today I stood in front of a judge and listened as Andrew asked that he be granted a divorce. I listened to him say there was no hope for our marriage to be saved. I heard the bang of the gavel as my marriage was terminated. In the elevator on the way down I took off my wedding rings and put them into my purse. Then I stood in front of the courthouse and waved goodbye to Andrew. And I haven't seen or heard from him since.

That last part is still so strange. I still wonder sometimes how he could have done this. I wonder if he looks at the calendar today and realizes, or if it has all just been the 'relief' he thought he would find.

Last year as I was dreading the looming divorce, I read something about women throwing divorce parties and I felt really sad to read that. I will never celebrate Andrew choosing to end our marriage. But I WILL celebrate my God and all the good He has worked through this.

I remember so many days thinking my future was bleak and hopeless.

This year has been an amazing testimony of how GOOD God is. And how great is His faithfulness.

I remember so many times my mom would ask me "do you trust God?" and I would answer that I didn't know anymore. I wanted to, and in my mind I did, but my heart was fearful. This year has eased that fear, and I can confidently say 'yes, I trust God.'

A college friend was sharing earlier this week about the Jews passage through the desert as they journeyed from Egypt to the promised land, and said, the desert is a place of suffering but it is also a place where God meets us. He was asking me if I could share about 'my time in the desert'. I do feel like God met me in the desert and led me through, and I am so thankful. So many things helped me during this time. My family, my mom who called me nearly every day, my friends, my divorce group, my counselor Stan, my church; but mostly my savior. There were also so many helpful books and messages that spoke to my heart. One church sermon I remember said that in the storm our response is to wonder where God is. But God is in the storm, He knows what He is going to do, and He's coming to find me. On the other side of the storm we will have more faith than we did before. I think this does apply to me, and I'm so glad He came to find me.

I am so thankful to God for all His wonderful blessings to me. Thank you to everyone who has stood by me in this storm, and prayed for me, and listened, and helped me up when I would fall. Thank you.