Sunday, November 17, 2013
the anatomically correct post
ok, this one is going to have a lot of stuff about nursing in it, be warned. I watched 2 circumcisions last week. I was with another student crowded around this doctor who was performing a circumcision on a little day old baby boy. She clamped the foreskin and then was sticking in this metal tool to "loosen" the skin from the head of the penis. Then they screw on this metal thing that protects the penis, and draws the foreskin over the metal thing, and then they just slice all the way around it. Meanwhile baby boy is sucking on this pacifier and they're squirting sugar water in his mouth to distract him, he cried, but it did work a little. Then the doctor unscrewed that metal part and the tip of his penis was all purple and shiny and I started to feel sick. So I went out into the hall, and I meant to just lean back against the wall but I think I thumped against it pretty hard because my instructor ran out and was telling me to sit down, etc. I didn't faint, it was like the opposite, she said I was bright red, even my eyes. Weird! After a while I started to get curious so I went back in there. This doctor was explaining how she did it, and what could go wrong. Then she said the worst case scenario they have to amputate the penis. This one girl in my class has never even held a baby and she was like 'oh my'. haha, she believed it. So then my instructor says, "they're doing this new procedure where they use the foreskin to make new eyelids.... the only problem is they look a little cock-eyed".... she said it completely deadpan so I wondered if it was just an odd choice of words, but then I did one of those really loud laughs and then everyone else laughed. It reminds me of this funny comedian joking about circumcision. Some people in my class are really funny too, I love my group. The other day in class we were talking about ectopic pregnancies (fetus grows outside the uterus) and this one girl was like 'how did it get there?' and another girl goes 'well, Chelsea, you see... when a man and woman love each other...." and we all laughed. And another time the teacher was talking about a fetal diagnostic tool called C.V.S. and someone asked what that was again, and this hilarious guy in the back says 'it's kinda like a rite-aid'. Anyway, probably had to be there, but good times. And sad patient-education times at work when the other day when I had to explain to this 20 year old girl how bleeding from her vagina and bleeding from her rectum were different. Did you miss that day in 5th grade!?!