Sunday, November 17, 2013

the anatomically correct post

ok, this one is going to have a lot of stuff about nursing in it, be warned.
I watched 2 circumcisions last week. I was with another student crowded around this doctor who was performing a circumcision on a little day old baby boy. She clamped the foreskin and then was sticking in this metal tool to "loosen" the skin from the head of the penis. Then they screw on this metal thing that protects the penis, and draws the foreskin over the metal thing, and then they just slice all the way around it. Meanwhile baby boy is sucking on this pacifier and they're squirting sugar water in his mouth to distract him, he cried, but it did work a little. Then the doctor unscrewed that metal part and the tip of his penis was all purple and shiny and I started to feel sick. So I went out into the hall, and I meant to just lean back against the wall but I think I thumped against it pretty hard because my instructor ran out and was telling me to sit down, etc. I didn't faint, it was like the opposite, she said I was bright red, even my eyes. Weird! After a while I started to get curious so I went back in there. This doctor was explaining how she did it, and what could go wrong. Then she said the worst case scenario they have to amputate the penis. This one girl in my class has never even held a baby and she was like 'oh my'. haha, she believed it. So then my instructor says, "they're doing this new procedure where they use the foreskin to make new eyelids.... the only problem is they look a little cock-eyed".... she said it completely deadpan so I wondered if it was just an odd choice of words, but then I did one of those really loud laughs and then everyone else laughed.
It reminds me of this funny comedian joking about circumcision.
Some people in my class are really funny too, I love my group. The other day in class we were talking about ectopic pregnancies (fetus grows outside the uterus) and this one girl was like 'how did it get there?' and another girl goes 'well, Chelsea, you see... when a man and woman love each other...." and we all laughed. And another time the teacher was talking about a fetal diagnostic tool called C.V.S. and someone asked what that was again, and this hilarious guy in the back says 'it's kinda like a rite-aid'. Anyway, probably had to be there, but good times.
And sad patient-education times at work when the other day when I had to explain to this 20 year old girl how bleeding from her vagina and bleeding from her rectum were different. Did you miss that day in 5th grade!?!


  1. Oh man I could never be a nurse. I could hardly read this, ha!

    I know, I felt like I cheated on by going line dancing without you! I'm so sorry! We need to plan a Fri night for you and Jill and Kim to come out to Howell and come to this place with me. It was seriously so much fun!

  2. AM, there HAVE been cases where they amputate the penis. I've read of stories where they were doing the circumcision with a different method, and had like a hot soldering iron (basically) and accidentally burned the penis off. Then they pretty much tried to convince the parents to convince the boy he was a girl and hopefully if brought up that way, he'd turn out fine. So awful...

    I am not a fan of circumcision. My best comeback to circumcision? If God wanted males to have a foreskin, he would've given them one. Circumcision anymore is not medically necessary and not required to join in God's covenant.

    1. I think I pretty much agree with you. My classmate was like 'well circumcision can help against stds' and I probably shocked him because I said 'well if my son is going to sleep around, he probably deserves them'. Ouch, but that would be a big fail on my part, or at least I'd feel like that anyway.