Friday, August 23, 2013


I have entered the dating world.
It feels weird.
I have been quietly dating a guy, and I'm not sure how much I want to talk about it online. But so far so good.
Mostly it just feels different.
I really haven't dated since 4 years ago when I was dating Andrew. In my mind I remember how hard and fast I fell for him when we started officially dating, my brain conveniently forgets the 6 months that we spent just as friends. And so now when I think, hmmm, it's been a month and I'm not madly in love?? It must not be right. When really, that 1) is not that healthy, and 2) wasn't how it actually was anyway.
So far I have been asking tons of questions. It's probably not that cool when your dating guy says 'that question felt a bit like an interview question', haha, but on one hand, I don't really care, I want to know. And most of the time he says he likes my honesty and likes my questions. The other thing I've been doing is talking a lot about it with friends who know me and whom I trust. And I've been asking myself, whenever he asks me to do something, do I really want to spend time with him/do this thing? And so far the answer has been yes.
I do feel that this time of being single has been good for me. I have really become a lot more dependent on God, while also becoming more independent (of guys) and more sure of myself.
Haha, this thing online made me laugh- but the truth is I do like me :) and after much counseling and Jesus's work on me, I finally am at a place where I am ok with being single forever (not that I'd love it) but would rather that than just be with someone to just not be alone. And that is huge.
A friend sent me something from Focus on the Family called A Fresh Look at Dating about pursing a Godly spouse. It was really great, and I listened to it twice already. There were also many other resources on dating and marriage. And an article I loved called When to Settle which introduced the idea of a new standard when choosing a mate. It said:
A New Standard
What's needed is a new, objective standard for what makes a good match, because, for a Christian woman, there are some non-negotiables for choosing a mate. That's where Gottlieb's advice falls short. Thankfully we have a standard that's completely reliable.
A man must be a believer.
He must be able and willing to provide for his family.
He must love sacrificially.
He must be honest, have a good reputation and strive for the qualities of a spiritual leader. (See Acts 6:3, 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:6-9.)
If you're measuring a man against that list, considering his aptitude for growing into full maturity in those areas, then marrying him is praiseworthy. Even if he is shorter than you. Or younger. Or bald. Failing to meet our worldly expectations — our romantic shopping list — is no liability if he meets biblical ones. That's the only list that matters. And marriage to such a man could hardly be called settling.
I loved this article. And although I struggle because I feel like I made a good choice the first time around, I want to make an even better choice if I go around again. I have learned and grown so much thru this divorce, but I do not want another!! So I really want someone who, I don't even know how to phrase it, but is God's idea of a good match - not just mine.
To be continued! :)


  1. Great thoughts, as always. It is awesome that you're at a place of peace. Single, married.. peace is a great thing. Now, I've been warned that single people hate the saying "Love will find you when you're not looking," but that is totally what happened to me and I wish somebody had told me that back then! I hope you find it again, but I am just happy for you that you're at peace with where you're at.

  2. YAYAYA!! I'm so excited for you!!!