Friday, December 21, 2012
So last night in my 5 year journal I read the entry from last year. One year ago, Andrew and I were at the last meeting of our small group for the year and we were talking about upcoming 2012. We sat there and shared our hopes for 2012 and he shared about wanting to be a better husband. Then less than 2 weeks later, he told me he wanted a divorce. It still makes no sense to me. Now it's almost a year later and I still have no more answers than I did then. However, God has helped me to accept Andrew's choice and I am doing my best to allow His healing to work in me. I get these divorce emails and I want to share some important things that have stuck out to me. Dr. Craig Keener says we should do everything possible to save the marriage, but ultimately we are not responsible for the actions of another person. He explains, "If the marriage is taken away from you against your will, after you've done everything you can in love to preserve the marriage, God doesn't hold you accountable for that any more than He would hold a rape victim accountable for rape or a murder victim accountable for murder." In Psalm 55 David cried out to God. He was in distress because a friend of his, someone he trusted and loved, had turned against him, becoming vicious and hateful. David's relationship with his friend had been severed because of the friend's sinful actions toward him. In response, David brought his anguish to God, giving God his burdens and trusting God to sustain him. David says, "If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is . . . my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship. . . . "War is in his heart; his words are more soothing than oil, yet they are drawn swords. Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall" (Psalm 55:12-14, 21-22). The next email was called 'you're still valuable to God', it seems so obvious, but when you've been rejected - it helps to hear that you do still matter Regardless of the reasons behind your separation or divorce, no matter what you have done wrong or where you have failed, you can fully restore your relationship with God and be used by Him. "If you think that being divorced disqualifies you from being used by God, then you have to cancel a million different people today who are being used greatly by God," says Dr. Myles Munroe. "You're saying that divorce is stronger than the blood of Jesus, the forgiveness of God, and the grace of God. That's ridiculous. Divorce is an incident. It's not a lifestyle. "God forgives. God forgets. What God forgets, you shouldn't try to remember. God will use you no matter what you've done. If I were to ask you the question, 'Is divorce worse than murder?' obviously you would say, 'No way.' If divorce is not worse than murder, then why did God use Moses? Moses was a murderer and a convict." Also in the Bible, Paul was responsible for the deaths of many people, and God chose him to be one of the greatest preachers ever. God wants to use you for great works that honor Him. Choose to surrender your life to Jesus, and you will be amazed at what you can accomplish through Him. "Immediately he [Paul] began preaching about Jesus in the synagogues, saying, 'He is indeed the Son of God!' All who heard him were amazed. 'Isn't this the same man who persecuted Jesus' followers with such devastation in Jerusalem?' they asked. . . . [His] preaching became more and more powerful, and the Jews in Damascus couldn't refute his proofs that Jesus was indeed the Messiah" (Acts 9:20-22 NLT). There was also an email about prayer Sabrina Black says, "Prayer is a person going before the Lord being vulnerable, being open not only to talk to God but to listen to God. There is significance in a 'listening prayer,' where you don't just go to God with your wish list, saying, 'Lord, set me free from this. Help me to flee temptation.' "Those things are important, but it is also important to ask, 'Lord, what is it that You desire from me? How would you have me live my life?' Then, after you have asked, sit still in the presence of God and allow Him to speak to you. This is an essential part of daily prayer." "Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live" (Isaiah 55:2-3). Maybe someone else out there needs to hear that there is healing, and there is hope in Jesus. For more information about DivorceCare, including how to sign up for daily emails, please click here.