The one that got away

Doug and I have been trying to get a new house. We walked in to a fixer upper on 4 acres and it just felt like "home". There were beamed cathedral ceilings, gigantic windows, built in bunk beds, built ins in general like you wouldn't believe, including a bench seat surrounded by a built in bookcase. It had a barn for storage and even a second level for whatever we'd want, kids' playhouse maybe someday. Every window I looked out of I saw green trees. It even had an old apple tree on the property. 

I've been thinking about this property non stop for 3 weeks. Talking to inspector and contractors, planning, dreaming.  I've imagined our family in every nook of that house. Doug talked to the neighbor to get a feel for the neighborhood and to sleuth some stuff out since it is now bank owned. 

Long story short, the bank rejected our first 2 offers, and since it is uninhabited and winterized you can't test things like the water, well, or septic. It's from 1955 out in the country and they had oil heat. Which you can't test since everything is off, and what we read about that it may or may not be a nightmare. Just too many unknowns, and the bank wouldn't budge. So we had to walk away. We have a reno budget, but not enough to rebuild this house from the entire inside out. 

And I am super disappointed about it. 

I think actually overly disappointed about it. And so here I am, after crying for a couple hours, and saying stuff to my husband I'm not even sure I mean, and here I am trying to work it out "on paper". 

We said we'd live here 5 years and then move, and here we are 9 years later and I kinda feel "trapped". And some that is I haven't wanted to leave our neighborhood which I do love... but there's been nothing to "make me want to move" ... until this house. 

Everyone just keeps saying "oh they'll be another" and it just makes me feel so alone like, no that house pretty much was made for me, and I just feel so unknown when they say that. (Which I know is stupid because a house is not my identity.. but here I am crying sitting on the couch thinking that anyway). 

It just makes me question like does God even have good things for me? Which I KNOW is not true, look how MUCH He's given me. And my mom had even prayed that God would either give us this house, or save us from it. So He could quite literally be answering her prayer. And I know He is good, THIS VERY DAY we got news that the tests Doug's dad had to look to see if he had some cancer somewhere came back good. We'd been praying so hard about that!!!! God is SO GOOD!!! But yet here I am on the couch with my pity party. I don't understand. 

My daughter's ABC Jesus Loves Me 4s homeschool curriculum has a weekly character to learn and this week's was "contentment". And I read that at the beginning of the week and I wondered to myself if that was going to be a foreshadowing. To learn to be content in my small, but paid off house. To be content with my stressful, but bill-paying job. To be content with the constant meal-making and cleaning up/ laundry folding/ argument breaking up/ cleaning/ being needed and instructing/ always interrupted phase of life because I am BLESSED to have a family to care for. 

I'm pretty sure that's it in a nutshell. Thanks for listening. 😌

Book Club Girls' weekend getaway

 Last weekend got to have one of my favorite times of the year, the annual Book Club Girls' Weekend Getaway! And since no nursing babies this season in the group, and ability, we were able to go for 2 nights!!! One of our former "members" (aka friends) had moved to Chicago several years past, and she had invited us to stay at her house for the weekend and go see Hamilton which was in town. I was the only non-theatre person in our group, but was up for a group outing, so that's what we did this year. A bit different from our usual going to the coast and enjoying beaches and small town shopping, but it was really fun. 

Before getting ready and going out to the show we did walk around the Morton Arboretum, it was beautiful and could've spent a lot longer there walking all around. 

Then we got ready, had an amazing dinner at Gio Mia in my friend's suburb, and then went down to the show. 

(that's a light reflecting purple on my friend's hair, but it looks pretty cool :))

So apparently Hamilton was started in 2016, and I'd heard of it before, but really had no desire to see it. I have to say it was pretty good. My friend and I had watched a bit before on Disney + to prepare and we didn't like it, but it was pretty good in person. (And I think our friends playing it in the car nonstop on the drive to Chicago helped a little, lol), The music is really good, and I am amazed the whole thing was written by one man. Wow, such talent!

The next morning after a nice breakfast we walked in Waterfall Glen and then began the trip home (listening to Hamilton most of the way home again, I have to admit a lot of those songs are pretty catchy!)

Such a great getaway, a time to talk and have fun together, so thankful we can do this every year. 

long time no see

 

This is what seemed appropriate after googling "keeping my head above water". 

That's me, right down to the extra flubb. It's been a busy summer, but a lot of goodness. I did an 8 week summer nature curriculum with the kids to get us ready for homeschooling this fall. It was fun. 

Beaver dam cookies

window suncatchers

Ocean slime

Making blueberry pie. 

Painting constellations. 

It was really a wonderful program by this homeschooling mom I follow on Instagram.

We went on an out East road trip to VT and NH that was really a nice time.

stop at Niagara on the way home

We visited for 2 weeks when my brother and his family were in town

I turned 42 and we had a gender reveal party for my sister

Had a baby shower for my sister

These 3 are growing up

made lots of goodies with the kiddos

These 2 had a 3 day nature class at the nature center nearby

A Labor Day mini trip to Bois Blanc Island

This precious girl turned 2

And then last week, August started his Homeschool hybrid program, Jeanie started back to speech therapy, and my Bible study program started up again, all on the same day. 

And I just feel that I haven't had a moment to myself that isn't folding laundry, washing dishes, cleaning up someone's mess. Not to mention my garden and side yard are out of control, but I either 1) have no time, or 2) the mosquitos are OUT OF CONTROL all of a sudden. Oh and my car has been in the shop 3x in the last 3 weeks for the same exact thing. And I've been doing PT for my diastasis recti I've had for 2 years now since Lucy's birth so I have to add in an additional 20 minutes of exercises each day for that. My precious new niece was born, but is going on her 3rd week in the NICU. Our hospital merged with another one and they don't realize it takes people to take care of people, and have been firing people which makes everyone's jobs harder. I've gained 8lbs since I finished up breastfeeding in the spring. And I am just OVER IT all. 

Ok, breathe, breathe. 

I know in a month or so we will be in a groove and it will be ok. A lot of the stuff we are doing is fun stuff, like this weekend we are going to the apple orchard and zoo, and today we did a family swim at the kids' swim lessons. Its fun stuff. It just is always very busy. 

There've been many times where I've thought about blogging about something or other. But it just doesn't seem to happen. 

Part of it is this STUPID blogspot website. It always takes several times to log me in, and when I upload pics it usually puts them in chronological reverse for some reason so then when I try to drag it to the right spot it inexplicably deletes it. I really hate it. 

So anyway, that's what's going on. I'll pop in when I can, this blog was supposed to be enjoyable for me, and not just something to check off a list. 

horsing around

 One of Doug's former co-workers had been inviting him over to see his horses, so last weekend we made the hour drive over there. 

And we ended up all getting a horse ride!

Not Miss Lucy, but she was able to alternately pet the horse and then be afraid of it, haha

It was a fun day. 

I couldn't help but remember my love of horses as a girl. We had 14 acres so I would beg my parents for a horse. They would often arrange for me to go to my dad's cousin who lived nearby to help groom and ride her horses. Now I can see why we never got into it. It is a very time consuming and expensive hobby/sport/pet. This co-worker said they had spent $100k on their riding stable. 😱 And spend hours and hours grooming, mucking, etc. 

Always you get up on a horse and just imagine yourself flying like the wind, but it's always just a slow walk in a circle too, lol. And of course while my kiddos were up on the horses back I was glad it was just a slow steady walk with the owner holding the reigns, the nurse in me is too cautious about broken necks and fear of being stomped on. 

The visit ended in a trip for ice cream and it was a lovely little half day trip :) 

4th of July

4th of July fun with friends at our friends' house of the lake. Good friends, tubing, wakeboarding, playing in the sand, good food, and fireworks!

So thankful we live in the land of the free. God bless the USA!