buy one, get one free

Last weekend the car lot was running a special: buy one, get one free.

They didn't say that the free one was a GIANT NEST

Last saturday a craigslist guy came and bought my beloved trusty saturn. So I bought my mom's old car off her, and she got a new car last month. I had a friend drop me off at my parent's saturday night to get it. Right away I noticed it was not running that great. It would barely accelerate and going up a small hill I noticed my speed dropping from 55, to 40, to 30 while the pedal was to the floor. Anyway, it was dark and cold and in the country so I abandoned going to the party I was going to and just went home. I stopped by an autozone that miraculously happened to still be open and got the codes checked. It was blowing codes for ignition coils at $104 each. Not great news when you just got a 'new' car. Anyway, the next day I opened the hood and saw that beauty. I was really glad I hadn't opened the hood for the autozone guy... 'oh pardon that giant nest... didn't see that there'... that would have been so embarressing!

This nest was perplexing in that in the nest I found 3 different shirts of my dads. I knew they were shirt rags from the basement- but how did they end up in the hood of the car under the carport 100 yards away!? Later my mom solved the mystery and said they were rags from repainting the barn and they were just in a box outside. Not as exciting as the riveting tale I was imagining of the squirrel smuggling them out of the basement, but oh well..

Anyway, good ol' dad came to rescue me again. The great news was that whatever animal had only chewed up some wire which he was easily able to solder and it was as good as new! (the other good news is that I didn't find any engine chopped up animals in the nest, extra glad for that!)

(chewed up wires and removed nest)

I got to return the parts and now it's running great. Hope this car can make it to a quarter-million miles too!

huh

I was just talking to one of my co-workers that I really like, and she was asking me about Andrew, and then about how his parents have reacted to everything. His mom and I did go out to breakfast one time early into all of it. She shared with me some little things, some I knew, some I didn't know, I wondered later if maybe they played a bigger part into things.

She told me that his dad worked a lot when he was a kid, so much so that she described herself as almost a single mother. She told me about his desire to 'be a hero'. And she shared a story about one Christmas Eve there was an argument in their house and Andrew bolted out of the house, got on his bike and fled to a friend's house. It was hard, but I was glad we had that time to talk together.

My co-worker just said that was interesting and the same thing happened with us, "He held everything inside and then just ran away on his bike."

I had to laugh. But I feel sad about it. I often said to Andrew, "I don't know how to be married," but I thought we were figuring it out together. It makes me sad that we couldn't talk about what any real issues were.

My co-worker was telling me she felt bad because I didn't get any 'closure', but I'm not so sure. I think all these months of counseling and divorce classes have really taught me a lot, and helped me to accept and learn from something that I didn't really have any control over.

And I know my God is a God of redemption. He is still on His throne, and He still has amazing plans for my life, and for Andrew's.

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him. Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare. Psalm 40:1-5

last friday night

There weren't 'too many shots', but there were good times with friends. (and there was a new delicious wine I liked, I'm pretty picky, but muscato --- yum!)

Last week Jill and I had a dinner/game night. I have all kinds of different friends groups: college, the first church I went to, the church I go to now, and then a few randoms. We invited a mix that we thought wouldn't be too many for the tiny condo and had them come over last friday. I made tacos and got to use my new platter thing for all the toppings

We made taco meat, and chicken for fajitas and black beans. I also made an apple crisp for dessert and these amazing chocolate chip cookie bars, with icecream of course.

Someday I hope I have a really nice big kitchen and hang out area so I can invite as many people as I want. We'll see, maybe when I'm making the big nurse bucks...

You can't tell from these pictures, but we really did have a great time playing Catchphrase:

This week has been busy with school. I'm feeling like all I do is study and I still am never caught up. I am looking forward to a lazy weekend (but still with studying, always studying) and a Tiger's party.

Yesterday marked 3 months divorced. Still not quite done with the name change business. They make it so hard, and I've had to do a couple things twice which is irritating. Makes me really think twice on if I would take another last name again. Well, that'd be IF I get married again, and if new husband would want me to take his name. Who knows.

Mostly I have been feeling a lot better, which I can say is ONLY because of the work Jesus has been doing in my heart. But even still there are some days of sadness just as bad as the beginning. This week has actually been a rough one. I heard something that I felt like was a complete opposite answer to prayers I've been praying for months. A teary phone call to my mom helped. She always reminds me that God IS working, we just don't know how. And she reminded me, "and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

My divorce class has been on 'depression', I got this email: Guilt, worthlessness, and helplessness may be an integral part of your daily life now. The emotions themselves are not wrong, but the questions you need to ask yourself are Where will I let these emotions lead me? Will I let these feelings bring me down, or will I choose to keep my eyes on Jesus no matter what? Jesus loves you regardless of what you have done, what you look like on the outside, or what you look like on the inside. You can never do anything that will cause Him to love you less. That is amazing. That is God.

So true.

They talked about depression not being bad, or a 'sin', but a natural response to loss. And one that drives you back into Jesus' arms.

"I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss" (Lamentations 3:20 NLT).

"We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us... (2 Corinthians 1:8b-10)

And shared this bible story: In the Bible, the prophet Elijah felt so depressed at one point that he wanted to end his life. "Elijah came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. 'I have had enough, LORD,' he said. 'Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.' Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep" (1 Kings 19:4-5). But God had other plans for Elijah. God first cared for Elijah's physical needs and then directed Elijah along a new path for his life.

I kinda feel the same way. God is directing me along a new path for my life. And I keep reminding myself that even though this isn't what I wanted for my life, it happened. God can still use it, and can still use me.

things I made lately

I finished this little pumpkin hat for my friend's baby boy due anytime now. I hope he likes it!

Last week I made one of my favorites crispy chickpea bites with my friend Liz's jalapeno cilantro hummus and sweet potato fries. Everytime I make these I rue the day I gave Andrew the food processor. It was a blender/food processor combo, and I had just got my new blender so I didn't want to be piggy and keep them both. But he probably never uses it, at least the food processor part I'm sure, and now I have to use Jill's crappy mini chopper. Oh well. Maybe I'll start saving up for a food processor.

Last night I made stuffed peppers and they were SO GOOD. I found a recipe where you don't have to brown the beef first, bonus! So I just parboiled the peppers, stuffed in a meatloaf type mix, topped with sauce, and baked. They had to share a pan with some of mom's garden beets to roast, but they were amazing.

This is the recipe I used, I just used canned sauce, no need to bother with making your own. Plus it says 10 mins for prep time, no way would it only take that few minutes with finding and opening all those jars and plus you have to boil the peppers and mix the meat too. Anyway, delicious.

hard day's work

So my boss just called me at work and asked me to look up movie times for his son who is off school today. I told him his options and then (jokingly) said that he should come in and work and I'll take Nick to the movies because I wanted to see that Hotel Transylvania movie and he said I should come meet them there. I said, 'um, shouldn't I stay here and work?' and he said 'no, come meet us.'

Um, ok!

Then later tonight after work Jill and I are having a dinner and game night. That is something I really like doing, and wasn't sure how it'd be now that I'm not 'in a couple', but it seems like it's going to be fine. I'm looking forward to it and it should be fun!

First Day of School

Back in April, a few days after I got the worst news of my life, I got some pretty good news. After years of wanting to get it, applying to get in, taking classes to up my gpa to get it, I got in.

I'd wanted to be a nurse probably pretty close to when I first went to college a long time ago, but I fought it. My mom is a nurse and I was worried that I was just doing it for her, or to be like her, or something. But when I kept returning to it time and time again, I decided I was really doing it for me.

I didn't tell anyone in my family that I was taking the pre-reqs or repeating a few classes to get my grades up. They weren't too bad, but a few c's makes a difference when you are competing against 4.0s. I'd heard stories of 800+ people applying for 120 spots, so I didn't want to tell anyone and then not get in and have them be disappointed. Actually my plan was to just go to school secretly the whole time and then invite them to my surprise graduation. I thought that sounded so cool. However, that was a little bit crazy, and as my bf Liz accused me of- 'double life-ish'. Plus then this year was turned upside-down and I needed more support and help with everything!

So today was my first day.

I got to class and saw a girl that I liked from my micro-biology class, so that was nice. I'm praying for a Christian friend in my program. I was talking to my sister last night and just saying how hard it is to make friends as an adult. I am a quieter person and it sometimes takes me weeks to open up, and usually by then people have written you off. I will be spending the next 2 years with this cohort of students and I'd like to walk away with some good friends and memories.

Anyway, I sit down and realize I forgot my notebook. But luckily we had handouts to write on and watched videos and practiced with sterile gloves and gowning up.

I survived my first day! Only 2 years minus one day left :)

weekend update

What a good weekend. Book club Friday night, my friend Courtney hosted. She is becoming famous for her cupcakes and they didn't disappoint. Chocolate malt cupcakes. Usually I don't like malt, but they were good. The frosting was uh-mazing. Saturday I went for a run, hadn't done that since the triathalon but it went good. And enjoyed some Red River for breakfast.

Little buddy wanted some.

But he didn't get any.

Hmmmpff...

(LOVE those fall colors!)

In the afternoon Jill and I went and met my cousin to go contra-dancing. I guess a group of students at U of M host a contra-dance each month. It was Jill's first time and she loved it, I knew she would. I haven't met anyone yet who has tried it and not liked it. Then saturday night we had tickets to the theatre, we saw Haunting of Hill House.

It's about a house that is itself haunted. Jill got me season theatre tickets for my birthday, and the last one we saw was a rollarskate musical Xanadu which was really entertaining and funny. Now, I don't want to say this one was terrible. But.. I knew I wasn't going to really like it pretty much from the beginning where one actress was like "my name is Theodora, just Theodora" (but annoyingly pronounced Theo-DOOR-uh) as she swaggered and swayed all over the stage. One thing that bugs me about the theatre is everything is so exaggerated. I guess that's the whole point really. So, maybe I am a more movies person. At least those people act like normal people not so dramatic all the time. Maybe I'm just not 'cultured' enough - we'll see at the end of the season if I've changed my mind!

Sunday was church, cleaning the condo, and cooking. I made a lot of stuff on Sunday. For lunch I made more butter chicken

With broccoli and peppers. So good. As usual. I also baked a batch of Red River muffins for work snacks. No use posting the recipe since no one else probably even has Red River. But they are good. My mom says my dad fell in love with her for her Red River muffins. And for dinner I made another favorite Crispy Chickpea Bites with sweet potato fries. Yum.

Jill and I finished our Downton Abbys. Nooo! Now we have to wait till January for season 3 to start. But I have really liked this show. Good times.