Wednesday, July 17, 2013
I went to my counseling yesterday, filled in Stan about my date and this busy month. He was really proud of me going on a date, he reminded me that 3 months ago I said I couldn't imagine ever dating, and now I've been out there and actually had a good time. We talked about how I do feel afraid of being 'sucked in' to something that might not be good just because someone might seem so fun and funny- but not necessarily good in the right ways. I'm sure I would figure it out eventually, but it is always so hard to break up with people - and I would rather do it earlier than later. Sometimes I wonder how I look from Stan's chair. He said he was proud of me, and that I did really good with what I said to that guy, and that I'm not operating out of 'neediness'. I do feel like I'm growing and learning, and moving on. And I'm ready. It's been a year and 7 months now, dealing with everything, and will be officially 1 year divorced this month. I still hate that I am divorced. But I love what God has done in my life because of it. I've been getting these daily divorce emails from the divorce group I was a part of and today was 365 days. Time flies. God has been so good to me, and I share the email girl's voice, "My Father loves me, and He’s reaffirmed it in a thousand ways. I know that I’m going to live. I’m not just going to get by, but I’m going to live victoriously." And again, I'm so thankful. The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.Zephaniah 3:17 ARISE! Shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you! Isaiah 60:1 I am so thankful for my amazing family and friends and support group too. I've been busy since coming home from Guatemala, my room is a complete disaster. But I've been too busy having fun! I went away on a girl's sleepover trip Monday night, spent the next day with them and at the outlet mall. It was great to see out of town friends, we had so many laughs and time to catch up. Then I got a call from a friend who had an extra ticket to F.U.N. so I zipped over there, parked across the street and ran in since I didn't have any parking money, and sat on the lawn listening to music. It was perfect! Tonight I'm hanging out with my co-worker, and then Thursday a dinner hang out with those out of town friends again. This weekend I can relax, and then next week my sister is coming into town for the wedding!! It's busy, but it is wonderful to have such good people in my life. I told Stan last night I feel 99% back to my original self, and I feel loved, and happy, and blessed, and thankful. Thank you Lord.