Monday, July 1, 2013
First Date Update
I went on my first date in 4 or so years yesterday. On Thursday I went to get my oil changed, and they said something was wrong with my car so I went out there to see what the problem was. The guy was showing me and talking to me a little. I didn't think much of it. Then the next day at work I get a phone call and its the guy calling from his work telling me he forgot to put the sticker in my car, and if that were a first date he would have really screwed it up. We joked and chit-chatted a bit. Then the next day he texts me to ask if my dad fixed the part for me, and somehow gets around to saying we can talk about my car troubles over dinner and drinks. Which surprised me. I sat and thought about it for awhile, talked to Jill. The thought of going on a date really scared me, so that's why I said yes. I can either force myself to do things that scare me, and learn how to deal with people and situations, or sit in my room for the rest of my life. Plus, while some people might be creeped out with him using company files to find my phone number and make up an excuse to call me, I thought it was something I would have done and I liked it. So I asked him how about lunch and icecream instead, so that's what we did. So the next day he picks me up and we went to lunch. Right away I found out he was only 23 (he looks at least late 20s). He asked me how big of a deal that was to me, because he didn't care, and I was like, yeah, it is actually a pretty big deal. But we still had our lunch, got icecream, walked in the park. It was actually super fun. He kept making these jokes like when we saw motorcycles later and he said something about riding, and I asked if he had one, and when he said no my face must have looked sad and he made jokes about how if he had a motorcycle the age thing wouldn't be an issue at all. Yeaaaahhh, motorcycles are irresistible. So then the end of the date. We were sitting on the porch and he's asking me if I want to go out again and I'm trying to talk about how I think besides me not wanting to be called a cougar the rest of my life, our lives were really different. And he asks me what I'm looking for, and I said first of all a Christian. And he comments that he knows he swears a lot. And I think that's something non-Christians really just can't understand. It's not just if you swear or not, it's that my belief in Jesus is what makes me who I am and why I live the way I do. You not swearing, is not enough. And even though I liked him and actually had a great time with him, I need more in my life than just hilarious British and other assorted accents and jokes and fun times. Well - I want that too, but I really want to build a life with someone. So anyway, a bit of an awkward end, but a good date I would say. Yeah. So I think I learned from this. I was able to completely be myself, and share things about what I had learned that day in my church, and talk about what makes me me and that felt great. And I think I was able to explain how even though I had a great time, I am really looking for a deeper connection. And explain how I want to be someone who is careful with other people's feelings and time and going out again would not be respectful of that. This weekend was a really great weekend all around. Dinner after work Friday with my co-worker, a birthday party hangout later that night for a guy friend from church, a road rally on Saturday with some friends (we won 3rd place) and a bonfire late into the night at their house, church and date on Sunday and then watching the fireworks. It was a great weekend.