My retainer cracked again last week. I got my braces off 15 years ago, but I remember asking my orthodontist if I'd still have to wear it when I was old and gray and he said yes, so I still wear my retainer at night. The one he made me was awesome, but one day it got chewed up by a little pomeranian, who shall remain nameless, and I had a replacement made by the orthodontist that I used to babysit for. I guess the materials aren't as good these days because they only last me about a year and then crack.
So this morning I went to the orthodontist to get a new mold made. I used to babysit for their son, and they are a great family. They gave my mom a deal to get braces and so she sees them too. After first meeting him my mom asked me later, 'does he kiss all his patients?' Haha, but yes, he is just a really sweet loving guy.
I went in this morning and instantly I hear, "Annie!!" and he swooped me up in a bear hug and kissed me three times! And just hugged me and told me everything was going to be ok.
I did call my mom when I left to tell her about the 3 kisses and we laughed.
So I am all moved into my friend's condo. Not to be too melancholy, but I did have this song in my head in my new bedroom. (different circumstances, but same old small depressing twin sized bed).
I met with my counselor last night, good talks as usual. I told him how it feels like a step back to be crammed into a small room, taking money from my parents, etc. He said to let people love me. And to reframe my thinking - not to think of it as a step back, but like a slingshot where you do get pulled back and then it propels you into the future. We talked about the different phases of my life this year, and now that the divorce is final and I'm out of the apartment - the 'Andrew phase' is over. We talked about that awhile. We talked about the next upcoming phase, which I wanted to label: 'scary'. He said it's ok to label it that way, but to know that scary won't last forever. I'm sure he's right, somehow I've already survived things I never thought I would. God is good, He keeps bringing me through.
"I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name." Isaiah 45:2-3