Monday, July 31, 2017
Our little guy is 9 months already. Time is flying! He's still mostly a breast-fed little guy, we've started some grains and veggies but he isn't too interested yet. He has nights of sleeping through the night, and then nights of waking up 1-3 times still. Honestly I am ready for that to be done. It's been so hard to muster up the energy to even check his diaper, sometimes I just give him his binky and that works, if he cries again then I check the diaper and feed him. I don't know what to say other than my body is done with the frequent wake ups! We just came back from our first camping trip, which was good during the day, bad at night. We had this little packable sleeper box thing from his parents, but it was too small for him to roll onto his back. Plus it got pretty cold at night and his hands were icy cold when I nursed him at night, and stupid mommy hadn't packed any socks to even put on his hands. I wanted to tuck him into my bag with me, but Doug was worried I'd roll onto him, so he held him for a long time and eventually he fell asleep. And of course my whole family had woken up too, sorry everyone! My dumb phone is constantly out of picture storage space so will have to get the pics off Doug's phone. Otherwise he's a pretty good boy. Addicted to his binky. Loves to reach out and grab anything he can possibly grab and stuff into his mouth. Sitting like a pro, but no crawling yet. Loves to be carried around and be with mom and dad. Will still sit and play with toys or be in his jumper, but not for too long, so that makes it difficult to get things done. Oh well. He's always been so "easy", so when he's been more fussy lately it's been hard for me. Lately I've been struggling with feeling like a pretty lousy mom and have been praying so much for God to give me patience, kindness, and gentleness with him, and compassion for his needs. Pretty much praying Colossians 3:12-14 over me: "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." It seems bad to have to pray for more love for your own child, which also makes me feel like a failure, but it can feel very overwhelming trying everything and he's still crying and upset. It's so easy to get frustrated and even annoyed. So I keep praying. I always felt this deep desire to be a mother and God has so generously given that to me, I pray that I can be the mom that August needs! Please pray for me.