Monday, May 7, 2012
Well, there is going to be a change in Anne's Everyday Life. The real life, not the blog. Actually there has been a change, I just didn't want to say anything because I didn't want it to be true. I didn't want to put it in writing. I hoped it would get fixed. But it's not. I am getting divorced. New Year's Eve Andrew and I were having a bit of an argument when he got really angry. He said he didn't love me and wasn't happy. He shouted that he wanted a divorce. I thought he was just mad, although he was breaking the rule we had made not to say that. But as days passed and he said he felt the same I started to wonder. He went to counseling with me a few times, but the counselor said that individual might be better for us. And so he did that for a few weeks, but then he quit. He filed for divorce on April 13th. Friday the 13th. I wasn't superstitious before, but I will probably think of that every Friday the 13th for the rest of my life. He moved out last week. I can't describe how horrible it's been. A lot of my friends say they can't imagine how hard it is. And I'm glad they can't relate. There is nothing worse than your husband, your best friend, your partner, your love, telling you he doesn't love you any more and doesn't want to be married to you. It's hard too not having a "good reason". No one cheated or anything like that. In the divorces I've heard about you can usually see it coming. People fighting for years. Not us. We had a few of the same fights come up, but I thought we were doing good. When we were dating we would usually have a 'check-up' on our monthly anniversary. It was something we continued into our marriage. Every month we would ask each other how we were doing in our marriage, if there were things to work on, things we could do better, etc. But he said it was good, I thought things were fine. Andrew said he's been 'faking it' for awhile. Just trying to make it work. Tired of it. Looking back I remember he was a bit distant on our end of November trip to Toronto, but otherwise I look back and see someone who loved me and was happy.